


That smile is one of the wonders of the world.

by Whataboutsoul



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU College, Anya - Freeform, Clarke Griffin - Freeform, Clexa, F/F, The 100 - Freeform, lexa - Freeform, octavia blake - Freeform, raven reyes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-04 04:52:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6642058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whataboutsoul/pseuds/Whataboutsoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is Lexa, who thinks that love is weakness and then, there is a smile that made Lexa felt so idiot and weak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how to do it, so this will probably make no sense.  
> Ehy you! Thanks for reading this, I appreciate it! So, I just want you to know that this is my first story, I wrote this when I was feeling empty, like something was missing inside me and still I feel like something is wrong. But, screw the sad things! You need to know that english isn't my first language, so let me down easy, ohoh! Please.  
> Be gentle with your thoughts.

The funny thing is that Lexa grew up hearing about all the amazing things the world reserved to her, listening stories about love and pain, sacrifice and courage, beauty and souls, she felt ready, she thought she could easily face the world with her fair share of pain and pleasure.  
But she didn't expect that a simple smile, with a couple of crystal blue eyes, could make her feel so stunned, as if the world had stopped turning. Despite the state she was in, she could hear in her head the voice of her mother scream «That is, sweetheart, what I meant when I was talking about the wonders of the world! »  
She was in the hallway, with Anya, hearing her rambling about the biology classe in background, while she admired like an idiot the most beautiful girl she'd ever laid her eyes on, but the thing that she couldn't explain was that irrepressible desire to know her , the awareness that even though she was a perfect stranger, Lexa knew it was not just simply physical attraction.  
«You could even pretend to be interested in my vital problems.» Anya grumbled.  
«I could, but that would require a huge effort.» Lexa said without blinking.  
Anya, being Anya, didn't think twice about hitting Lexa strong enough to make her wince.  
«Ow! What the hell?! Did you need to hit me?! »  
«You're lucky I didn't hit you with the biology book! Sure there was a need, I spoke for fifteen minutes and you haven't heard a single word! You're lucky that they were nonsense. »  
«Nonsense ?! What on earth would you have done to me if they had been real vital problems ?! »  
«Do you want to try?» Anya asked with a smile on her face.  
«I need to find a good doctor for your mental problems, really, I wonder why our parents haven't done nothing about it yet.» Lexa growled softly, but loud enough to be heard by Anya.  
Anya rolled her eyes and quickly asked «So .. Since you weren't listening to me, what were you thinking about? I was serious about those fifteen minutes. »  
«That wasn't fifteen minutes, stop being so drama queen, by the way I wasn't thinking about anything in particular.»  
Anya rolled her eyes, it was always like this with Lexa, you could say that something was going through her head, but you never knew what, as long as she would not have decided to talk about her initiative.  
The bell rang just when Lexa ended the sentence, both girls made their way to their English literature class and Lexa noticed the person had distracted her for the last fifteen minutes - according to what Anya said, but Lexa strongly doubted they were still fifteen minutes - there with two other girls who until then she hadn't even seen, she also noticed that as they passed near the group of girls, Anya greeted the girl with the breathtaking smile , while Lexa was paying attention to the bright smile directed to them , well, to Anya.  
In that exactly moment when they made eye contact , Lexa remained with her usual stoic face, without transpire nothing , even if in that exactly moment, she felt the happiest person in the world because, dammit, this beautiful girl was aware about her existence.  
But , of course there is a but , because even if she doesn't showed what she felt inside, that is a storm, Lexa could hear everything that she had inside and she felt so exhilarated that she was stumbling over her own feet, recovering enough in a hurry not to find herself with her face to the ground, but still making herself an idiot. Lexa had to listen to Anya giggle up to class.  
When they arrive in the classroom, both girls took their places in the back row. After twenty minutes of class, Lexa thought it might be better to pay a little 'attention to the lesson rather than think of a perfect stranger.  
She has failed miserably, but at least she tried.

«So, won't you tell me what you were thinking about earlier??»Anya asked, once she entered at Lexa's room, throwing herself on the bed.  
Lexa was at her desk watching the latest Harry Potter film, she had delayed it so much to feel almost guilty. She pretended not to hear her, she didn't want to tell Anya .. What exactly? Because she didn't even know what she was thinking about and she certainly didn't know in what way to put it, so she pretended to nothing, until she heard a pillow thrown at her head.  
«What?!» asked Lexa, giving up at the obstinacy of her sister.  
«Why don't you want tell me?»  
«Because I haven't the slightest idea of how to explain the feeling I had, okay? Nothing serious » Lexa said, pausing to reflect on her own words.  
«I don't know if I should worry or let it go» she mused Anya.  
«I say to let it go» she muttered Lexa, returning to her film and trying to concentrate.  
Anya rolled her eyes «What you say doesn't matter, you're irrelevant in these cases. But for now I leave you alone. For now.»  
«You're still here though.» she replied Lexa, grumbling.  
Anya threw another pillow against her sister and then left the room with a smile on her face.  
Once Lexa heard the door closed, she thought why she couldn't express herself about what she felt today when saw that girl, that smile.. Because she always could describe what she thought , especially with her sister, but this time.. It felt different and it was so stupid, so inexplicable, because even if she tried to deny it, all led back to the unknown one that she couldn't even describe.  
It was after less than 12 hours since she had seen her, and she already felt that she was going crazy.  
If she had to be honest with herself, she would admit that she was going crazy after fifteen minutes spent watching her, but this time she decided it was better to lie to herself.


	2. Are soul and mind the same thing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because love is a distraction, is what could hurt her so easily, because there is no defense once it gets in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter! Probably there will be a lot of errors.. Probably even in this message! So.. I'm sorry, seriously, I hate grammatical errors.. I'm sorry.

Are soul and mind the same thing?  
This is the question that Lexa has always set to herself , maybe it will seem ridiculous to some, assuming that no, of course are not the same. For other instead, soul and mind are exactly the same thing, that there isn't a distinction.  
Lexa has never been able to think that the two things are separate and distinct entities, being a totally rational person, reconnecting all things to reason and logic, she has always believed that what we feel, emotions and not, are the result of our mind, because our brain is our computer, is what makes us understand things, as far as possible and when she hear people say «follow your heart» she can't help but roll her eye and think about how it is ridiculous, totally aware that it is not literal. She thinks that is ridiculous because the heart of which people speak so much, it's that little voice we hear in our heads that always lead us to something painful, irrational and stupid, but here's the rub: how is even possible, for a rational and logical mind, create something so weak like what we call "love"?  
Love is weakness, this is her mantra, it's what causes her to be so detached from everything and everyone, because love is a distraction, is what could hurt her so easily, because there is no defense once it gets in motion, that's why she don't want to do anything about that beautiful girl with the striking smile, because it's dangerous. Because even though they are perfectly unknown, she can't take the stranger out of her mind, and she has no idea how not to think of those beautiful eyes.  
That's why today she didn't go home with Anya, because she needed to clear her head. Not that she was succeeding, she couldn't help smiling at the thought of that smile and those eyes. She almost laughed about how everything was so messed up in her head.  
She arrived at the park, with the book in hand and headphones in her ears, she decided to turn the music off. She wanted to listen to the wind in the leaves, the birds that were flying free in the sky. She wanted to hear the world, the nature around her, because in spite of her few years of life,she couldn't get used to the beauty of the world around her. She sat down on a bench, opened the book "Sophie's World", she had started recently, she had arrived in paragraph of Heraclitus, she was excited to read on his philosophy of opposites.  
After reading for a while, she looked up at the sky, watching for a while the clouds and the blue sky that was reminded her something, but she didn't want to admit what. She looked around, noticing a girl sitting on a bench, absorbed in writing something in her notebook. She noticed a man behind the other girl, with what she thought was his dog, she had a bad feeling about that man, but she tried to ignore it, she assumed that she was feeling a little bit paranoid, so she returned to her book, failing miserably. She couldn't take out of her mind the presentiment that the man continued to stare at the girl who was concentrate on writing on her notebook. She decided that she would rather show herself like an idiot, rather than let something to happen to that girl , so she got up and walked to the bench where was sit the girl with the notebook. She sat next to her, taking care to put the right amount of space between them, not wanting to invade the personal space of the girl.

After a while, the girl - who Lexa realized that actually was drawing - looked up and noticed her. She didn't turn to look at her, but after a while, she could still feel the eyes of the girl on her, so she turned, annoyed by the interruption during her reading. She had momentarily forgotten that breathing is a vital necessity , or that the heart , you know, doesn't explode in the chest. But she didn't expect to meet the girl who for the last three days has invaded her mind - just because of her smile - sitting by her side, drawing. Well and now looking at her.  
«There was a shady guy behind, it was either him or me, I didn't want to leave the things to chance.» Lexa said, looked away, too embarrassed to look at the girl in the eye, damn, even she doubted she could do it without being enchanted.  
«Mh, so you've taken for granted that I preferred you to him.» she joked , not looking away from Lexa.  
«Well, he is still there, I can always go away and leave you in his hands.» grumbled Lexa, almost offended by what the girl had told to her. Almost. She tried to hold back the smile that was trying to escape, she could feel the corners of her lips twitch.  
The stranger smiled and said, «Nah, I prefer your hands.» After she had realized what might have insinuate with that sentence, she looked away quickly, saying «I mean, not in that way, I saw him and he is creepy, of course I prefer your hands. You. I mean, I prefer you, your presence and oh my god, I'll shut up now. »  
Lexa couldn't hold her laughter «Okay, I get it, I'm glad to be able to help people to keep them away from creepy people" She replied, not looking away from her book.  
«Thanks, I appreciate it. I think that all people appreciate that.» the stranger said, with a smile. Lexa could see with one eye that smile and she has only nodded in return, not trusting her voice. Or her brain.

After the small exchange of words, they passed an hour in total silence, not an awkward silence, but a comfortable silence, the quiet. The silence that makes you realize that only the presence of someone else, can make you feel really comfortable. But it was getting late and Lexa had to go home. Getting up reluctantly, she began to take her things and the stranger looked up from her notebook. «I have to go.» Lexa has explain at the curious look of the girl.  
«I hadn't noticed was so late, probably it's better I go back too.» The girl said, starting to put her stuff in her bag.  
«Do you live near here?» Lexa asked, unsure what to do, but still hesitant about leaving the girl alone, saying it was for the creepy man that they saw before.  
«Yes , why?» The girl with the blonde hair asked, surprised by the question.  
«Nothing, I thought at the creepy guy, but I don't see him around anymore, presumably he went away.» She replied looking around, looking for anything that might catch her eye.  
«And people say that chivalry is dead.» The stranger grinned and got up from the bench.  
«Only to justify the rudeness of the people.» Lexa grumbled, starting to walk.  
«Probably, but you've saved me, it's more than education! That man could kidnap me, then who knows what would happen to me. You're a knight in shining armor.» The girl replied, reaching Lexa, trying to make her smile.  
«Yeah.» Lexa said, not wanting to make a fool in front of the girl.  
«Don't put too much effort in the sentences, I could lose our train of thought.» the blonde girl murmured , disappointed that the other girl obviously doesn't have desire to talk.  
When they reached the exit of the park, Lexa took the right's road and the stranger took the one on the left. «I suppose that here is where we leave us.» The stranger began «Thanks for what you have done today, I appreciate it. Not everyone would do it.» Lexa in exchange only nodded, succeeding for the first time to raise her eyes to meet those of the blond, who was addressing one of those smiles that could kill anyone. She smiled back, or at least, is what she thought was a smile, hoping with all her being that it was not some kind of grimace. She turned around and began to go, she was determined that she wouldn't turn around. But after a few minutes she hear screaming «I don't even know your name!» turning around and seeing the girl behind her. She smiled and replied «And I don't know yours.» and with this, she went on her way, losing the look decided in the eye of the girl with the blonde hair who was watching her with a big smile. One of those that Lexa haven't seen so far.  
And that night, Lexa realized that even if the brain is logical and rational, recently it was making her do silly things. As for example stop breathing at the sight of a pair of crystal blue eyes. Or by the sight of a wonderful smile.


	3. Sunset and books.

Lately Lexa has chosen more often to walk at the way back home, sometimes stopping at the park, when she needed to put in pause her life. She felt more and more the need to take back her life in her hand, because she knew that even if she was trying so hard to keep it in order, was failing miserably. The responsibility to help her mother, the weight of the school, the work at the library.  
She couldn't allow herself to let go, she couldn't afford a moment of pause, a respite, because as soon as Lexa lowered her guards, the beautiful stranger would took the control in her mind.  
But the thing was, that Lexa wanted the girl with blonde hair to invade her mind, so that she would took hold on her thoughts, because Lexa would felt lighter. Because the memory of that smile, to her, make she smile more than anything else. But to admit a such thing, would mean lowering her walls , and she would be vulnerable and Lexa couldn't afford it.

Lexa was going to be late at the library, and she is never late, never. It's something that leaves her life in order, she have everything organized, her brain is a calendar with dates and times, tests and commitments. Don't respect a time or a date would lead chaos and chaos would lead unpredictability and it isn't something that Lexa loves. But today, the biology professor has kept them more than necessary, and well, the rest is history.  
She made it just in time, with a minute left where she could freely take a breath.  
«Don't die on the floor of my library, please, you may scare away those few people who still read, you think it's convenient? I thought something happened to you, usually you arrive ten minutes early.» Said the owner of the bookstore, chuckling.  
«You know Gustus, I think that I affected you with my sarcasm.» Lexa said, starting to take off her leather jacket and leaving the bag behind the counter.  
«Or maybe you're getting soft, I think we will have to wait and see.» Replied the man, winking at Lexa.  
«Okay, I can't keep up with you now, too tired. I'm going to do something productive.» Grumbled Lexa, walked among the bookshelves.  
«See?! You're getting soft!» She heard the scream of Gustus followed by his chuckle, she couldn't explain how a man so imposing and menacing, could be totally the opposite of what he appeared. Sometimes she felt as if the roles were reversed between them.  
Through the shelves, in the midst of all those books, Lexa has felt so good to letting herself go. She loved the smell that lingered in the air, she loved the fact that so much, could be enclosed in something so small. She loved the way that a simple book could make her feel so right, even when she felt to be wrong. Because it made her feel in touch with someone, because what they transmitted was a loud and clear message: «There are so many people like you, you will never really be alone.»   
It was time to go home, but she didn't want to leave behind a world in which she felt lighter, a world in which she didn't feel any weight on her shoulders, no responsibility, no complete stranger in her mind. But she had to faced the reality, she had to face the "real" world, so she took her jacket and backpack and waved Gustus, wishing him a good night.  
She could see the sun set in the distance and she didn't want to miss such a show, so she began to run, as if her life depended on it. She kept running, with a unique destination in her head. She was feeling the lungs and nose burning, she was feeling the life scrolling in her veins, because in that moment, she felt so alive without any responsibility. And she was running, running with a smile on her face, because she could feel the wind in her face, she could feel her hair free , fluttering behind her, and she could see the sun coming down little by little, she could see how the red invaded the clouds and she felt so damn alive.  
The park was deserted and she couldn't be happier, she had only one place for her at a breathtaking show. She looked enchanted as gradually the sun disappeared on the horizon and she wondered to herself how people could ever get used to a show like this, because no one could really get used to something of that scale, no one. She sat on the same bench where she was sitting a week ago with the perfect stranger, not because was the same spot where she has talk with the blonde for the first time, absolutely not, but for the simple fact that from there she had a breathtaking view.  
She stayed there, looking at what nature has reserved at the world, with no thought in her mind, she didn't want to ruin a moment of pure freedom. When she got up to leave, she saw an attached sheet on the bench, once took it , she noticed that it was a drawing. A drawing of herself, in clothes of blacks, with a fur of some kind on the shoulders and boots up to the knee, a red veil that came down from the right shoulder. She saw that in the face, right between the eyes, there was sketching some kind of accessory. The hair was collected in braids. After observing the drawing for several minutes, she found a written in the lower right corner: «I thought I'd have to thank you properly for saving my life! I know you're a knight in shining armor, but I thought it didn't render the concept, you know? I hope you like it. - I would write my name, but I prefer a proper presentation. See you next time, oh my hero!.»   
And Lexa laughed, laughed heartily, because this complete stranger was the exact opposite of what she was and perhaps, Lexa thought, it was just what she needed.

When she returned at home she went right to her room, not listening to Anya's screams coming from the kitchen. Before she having to return to reality, she wanted to hide the drawing that the stranger had done for her , she wanted to hide it carefully, she wanted to hide it from everyone, she wanted the drawing to be only between her and the person who she didn't even know. She wanted to have this thing with the girl from the wonderful smile, whatever that this thing was, uncontaminated. Only between the two of them and no one else. She knew that it was probably a childish attitude, but as long as nobody was aware, what harm it would have done? She put carefully the sketch between of the pages of "Sophie's World".  
«Do you want tell me where have you been?» Anya asked, tired of the strange attitude of her sister.  
 «When I left the library there was the sunset, so I ran to the park to see it and then I came back home.» Lexa replied, with a smile that she had never left her face.  
Suddenly Anya saw the smile on her sister's face, a smile that she had never seen, a smile that she would like to see more often, because it seemed a genuine smile, a smile that would make her forget all the weight on her back, so she asked «Why are you smiling like that? What has happened to you? Oh my God! Are you drugged !? Lexa, I swear th- » despite everything, was her sister and not receive answers, wasn't a good thing. It would set in motion her brain. It was not always a good thing.  
«Anya, stop! Stop! Damn it, I told you that you have to stop being so over dramatic! I don't drink or smoke, do you really believe that I can make a quantum leap like that ?! » Lexa screamed, angry about what Anya had thought of her.  
«You are more strange than usual lately, can you really blame me?» Asked her sister, smiling.  
«Well, fine. But don't jump to conclusion like that, if mom should hear you say something idiot like that, I think she might kill me before I could even explain the situation.» Grumbled Lexa, beginning to feel the weight of the day take over her, she decided to throw herself on the sofa, her sister behind her.  
Anya laughed, she knew she was right, but she couldn't help but worry for her sister and saw that Lexa wasn't exactly a person who talk about feelings or anything, she had no choice but to draw certain conclusions, scaring even herself in the process.  
«You know you can talk about anything, do you?» Anya asked. She wanted to make sure that her sister was aware that she would be there for whatever she was thinking.  
Lexa looked at her sister and smiled, knowing that it was an absolute truth. «I know, you have repeated it so many times that by now is etched in my brain.» Said the brunette, with the intention to play down, she didn't have the strength to face a heart to heart talk.  
Anya looked up and threw her a pillow.  
«You can't hit me every time that I say something!»Shouted Lexa exhausted, almost whimpering. Almost.  
Anya laughed and replied: «If you want me to stop hitting you, then you stop being so idiot, it's a win win for everyone. I'll go to order the pizza! »  
When Anya went back on the couch with Lexa, she noticed that the girl had fallen asleep. She couldn't help but smile at the sight of her sister with a peaceful expression. Smiling and taking a picture, of course.


	4. Rain and Freedom.

People usually exploit the Sunday to rest, to let go all the effort of the week, perhaps spending the day with the people who they take care the most or simply staying in bed until they realize that they're starving and they need food.  
But not Lexa. Lexa has always preferred to spend her Sunday going out, going everywhere, without any goal in her head. She just wanted to see what the world has granted.  
It was six when the alarm rang and the only thing that Lexa wanted to do was turn it off, but then she remembered that it was Sunday, she had a day all to herself. It was six o'clock in the morning, once awake, she just wanted to run. She wanted to feel her lungs burning and the tired legs, she wanted to hear her veins pulsing. She wanted to feel alive and free, not just exist.  
The house was quiet, but she could feel a light snoring coming from the room of her sister, she smiled and walked into the bathroom to get dressed. Once out of the house, she looked up at the sky, seeing how it was obscured, she thought that if it had begun to rain, it would be a perfect day.  
She began to run, without thinking a place to go. She was used to the schedules, to the commitments. She was used to the balance. But for today, for once, she decided that could let it go and see what the unpredictability reserved. She ran for a while , when she felt something on her nose. Lexa looked up to the sky and noticed it was starting to rain. She smiled and began to run faster, direct to the park, headed for the one place where she wanted to be in that moment.  
It started to rain harder and Lexa didn't care, she didn't care at all. She felt as if all the concern she had was slipping away, she felt better. She felt free, without chains that held anchored her in the world and society, to the people, to modern pleasantries, the fake freedom. And she screamed. Brought out all that she was holding inside, broke free of resentment towards her father for abandoning her mother, let go of the sense of loneliness that persisted in her soul, she let go the fear of anything in particular, only fear.  
And she smiled, not understanding if on her face was scrolling only rain or even tears.   
After what seemed an eternity, she thought it best to go home, but she didn't run, she wanted to enjoy the cold wind on her wet skin. She knew that the possibility of hypothermia was at the stars or cold / bronchitis / fever were insured. But the present was much more of the future, she thought, and she didn't care what would happen, she felt too good about herself to deny something so cathartic.  
She was already half way home, her mind whirling with a thousand thoughts, but she was busy to dwell on anything other than a wonderful smile. Or the crystalline blue eyes shining. So she decided to think of the last Harry Potter film. She thought at Snape, in what he had done, what he had sacrificed. She couldn't let it go, she couldn't accept the fact that such a brave, noble, fearless action, could be paid off with nothing.  
Lost in her thought, she didn't realize that a car had stopped right next to her.  
Lexa suddenly heard a familiar voice say «Are you aware of the fact that you are completely wet and out is still raining?"  
«O my god, are you kidding me.» she thought Lexa, unable to believe this was happening. She turned toward the voice and immediately she felt butterflies in the stomach when she saw those eyes. «Are you aware of the fact that here there is a cathartic rain and you're inside an iron box?» Lexa said, looking directly into her eyes. Because today Lexa could grant it to herself. Because today Lexa wanted pleased herself to observe all that was best in the world. And those eyes and that smile, were part of the world wonders.  
The blonde smiled, happy for the fact that this time she received more than a few syllables from the other girl. «I am fully aware, I'm also aware of being totally dry and warm.» she replied.  
«You're missing all the fun, all the freedom.» Lexa said, opening her arms to the sky and with the face side up.  
She didn't hear a response from the stranger but she heard the sound of a door that was slammed and then the car alarm. Lexa was surprised to see the other girl in front of her, leaning against the car, with a huge smile on her face. «I didn't think you were like this.» the blonde said, without looking away from Lexa's eyes. Lexa smiled thinking about the fact that the blonde girl has thought about her.  
«In fact I'm not like this, but it's nice to change sometimes. Obviously worth it.» She said, referring to the fact that if small changes like these takes her to meet several times this perfect stranger, then she would be more than happy not to follow one or two rules.  
The other girl remained silent, she continued to look at her, just nodding and smiling in response. After remaining in silent for a while, the girl began to run toward the park and Lexa couldn't help but smile and run together with the complete stranger that in less than three days had surprised her twice already. Once they arrived, the blonde raised her arms to the sky, catching her breath, laughing out loud. «You were damn right!" the girl shouted, over the noise of the rain around them.  
Lexa didn't answer, she just smiled at the blonde, happy to watching her.  
She was with wet hair plastered around her face, with the rain that was falling down on her. She was getting wetter and Lexa could see the happiness that the blonde girl was set free.  
«What's your name?» Asked the stranger, now closer to the other girl.  
«Why are you so interested in my name?» Lexa asked, looking into her eyes.  
«Because I want to know you.» Replied the other girl without blinking.  
«Then you can call whatever you want. I want get to know you without knowing your name, it's strange?»   
The stranger laughed, surprised by the response Lexa has given to her. «It's strange, really strange, but I think that for us it's normal. We haven't had a lot of normal interactions. The fact that we are under the rain, in the middle of the park, is a further proof of our strange relationship.»   
Lexa became convinced that this girl, this perfect stranger was worth to be known. She was worth all the strangeness of which she was capable of doing, so she put all her insecurities, all her paranoid behind herself, remembering that today she would be granted what she wanted.  
«Since we both want to know each other, let's do it. Would you meet me, here at the park, one of these days? Not like an date, I mean, to know us, you know..» Lexa started strong and fearless, but the thought of a date with this girl or even the insinuation, made her nervous.  
When she heard a resounding «Yes.» by the other girl, Lexa looked back at the blonde, both with a smile on their faces and both noticing how the other was shaking.  
«Well, so.. How about next Sunday?» the brunette asked, starting to get back to the exit of the park, placing a hand on the stranger's back, urging her to follow her.  
«If we will not be both sick until then, sure.» Smiled the blonde, leaning herself against Lexa, both in search of warmth. The brunette smiled back, thinking that perhaps she should give more weight to the future, after all.  
They reached the car in quiet, the rain had stopped for a while.  
It was time to part ways, but both the girls knew that none of them wanted to go, but they needed to change clothes and get warm.  
«Give me your phone.» Lexa said, looking straight into the eyes of the girl.  
The blonde looked at her skeptical, but she handed it to her, curious to know what she would do. And she was surprised to see that the stoic brunette snapped a picture of her and then took a picture to both of them together. She smiled to see the photo that showed her with a surprised face and the brunette with a huge smile. She saw the girl type something on her phone and then she took it when Lexa handed to her.  
«I wrote my number if Sunday you will be sick or else..» Lexa said, turning away and starting to go. Walking backwards, with a small smile on her face, she added, «Oh, thank you for the beautiful drawing! I hope to see you again next week.»   
And the blonde watched, surprised by the girl, surprised by the attitude so different and contrasting that she had noticed few days back. Surprised to discover the girl more and more interesting. She picked up the phone, curious to know how the girl was saved herself on the phone, since they didn't know their names.  
She laughed when she read a new number saved "knight in shining armor".

Returning home, Lexa thought that although she had the whole day ahead, she already knew it was a perfect day.


	5. Penia, Poros and Eros.

The week couldn't pass more slowly.  
Lexa found herself thinking at her encounter with the blonde girl. She couldn't stop thinking about how she looked so free in the rain, so happy. She couldn't get out of her mind the image of that girl with her open arms, welcoming the rain with a smile on her face, free from any concern.  
Was Tuesday afternoon and Lexa was in the library, rearranging books on philosophy. She was focused on Plato's Symposium and she found herself fascinated by Eros, to be exact, she found herself fascinated by the birth of differences which he consisted. Eros was born from the union of Poverty and Wealth, she asked to herself if could really deliver something the union of them? She was aware that the concept was much deeper, but she couldn't help thinking that the union of opposites was difficult and complicated. Eros was described as a demon, not a god, he was the union of a human and a divine being, the union of wisdom and ignorance. The union of opposites. Plato described Eros as an intermediary, as if he was the right balance between the two.  
But the point is that he represented the love and the love described in the work, was born from the union of Poverty and Wealth just thanks a deception. But Plato talks about the love born from the union of two opposite, shifting the emphasis from the process. He highlights that the union of contrasts has led to a balance. Lexa couldn't help but think that in fact, her idea of love, is a balance between two opposites.  
She returned to reality by a hum coming from the back pocket of her pants, she couldn't believe the fact that deep thoughts could be erased by such a stupid thing as a phone.  
She saw that she had received a message from an unknown number. Lexa smiled at the thought of who it could be, but immediately she erased the thought, didn't want to delude herself and be disappointed once her open the message. So she put back the phone in the back pocket and she went back to arrange the books , deciding that she would check it later, once the job was finished.

She finished a few hours later, exhausted but satisfied by the work she had accomplished. When she came out from the library and put her earphones to her ears, she was happy to hear the introduction of Wish You Were Here of Pink Floyd. She found herself back at home more slowly than she had expected. She didn't feel no rush, but was starting to get dark and she was starving. She picked up the phone to send a message to Anya to tell her that was coming back at home and to order something that they could eat and then she reminded of the message from unknown number.  
Not paying attention to where she was going, she crashed into someone strong enough to find herself on the floor with an other weight on her. She cursed so much that she felt ashamed of herself, but the blow was too strong to be able to contain all the curses, make her feel better the fact that she was whispering them.  
«Oh, you aren't dead, are you?» She heard a voice say.  
She began to grunt, unable to form coherent sentences, she was in too much pain to really be able to think about anything else besides her back and her ass. When she opened her eyes she saw only yellow, starting to worry that maybe she also hit her head and maybe she lost her sight, so she immediately started sit down, dragging with her the weight that was on top of her.  
She found herself sitting on the ground, with someone sitting on top of her and the continuing concern about her health. Say that her day had taken a turn really bizarre, was an understatement.  
«Okay, if I don't receive a reply within two seconds I swear I call an ambulance.»  
After this Lexa snapped open her eyes, unable to believe that the blonde girl who has invaded her thoughts for more than a "few days" was sitting on her. And that both were on the ground in the middle of the street.

She raised her right eyebrow and asked with a smile «Comfortable enough?» 

The girl didn't seem to understand at first, she looked at Lexa with a curious look, tilting a little head to the right, asking in silence about what the brunette was referring. When she noticed Lexa make a nod in her direction, she looked down and realized how she was sitting on the girl, she turned red with embarrassment but she didn't move. 

«I was worried to have kill you. You should have opened your eyes.»The blonde grumbled , looking at the back of the other girl's head, checking for any wounds.

«Well, it would be quite a moral paradox.» Lexa said, trying to regain control of her head which was being moved from all directions from the other girl. Tired of hearing turn her head to the right and left, she grabbed the hands of the stranger and said «If you don't stop moving my head in that way, I think I might throw up.» The blonde sent a look of apology at the brunette, giving her a smile, but still not moving from the womb of Lexa.

«You know.. I know I'm quite comfortable and everything else, but the street is becoming a little uncomfortable.» Lexa said, smiling.

«Damn, you're a wet blanket.» Replied the blonde smiled back, starting to get up and helping the other girl.

«I let someone using me like a chair only after three dates, I'm sorry to disappoint you.»Said Lexa, happy to stand up.The girl laughed at this and was glad that she was joking about it. 

«Pretty accurate on the number of the dates.» 

«I'm an organized girl, what can I say.» Lexa smiled, pleased to be able to make laugh the stranger.

«Sure, sure. However, I'm sorry for having pushed you, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.» The other girl said, with a look of apology on her face.

«No problem, I was looking at my phone and I didn't saw you. I think we are both guilty.»Lexa said, handling her phone, making sure it wasn't broken.

«Oh, I'm waiting for an answer from you!» 

Lexa didn't understand what the blonde meant and probably she saw the confused look on her face, because after a few moments the girl motioned her toward the phone in her hand. Lexa looked at her and opened the message from the unknown number: "Hey knight in shining armor! How are you? I hope you're not sick!" the brunette smiled at the message, thinking that after all, she could delude herself once in in awhile. She saw the phone disappear from her hands, taken from other girl. She watched with curiosity, paying attention to the smile that wouldn't stop her from feeling that strange feeling in her stomach.  
«I better go, it's getting late. See you! And again, I'm sorry!» She said, returning the phone to Lexa and starting to run the other way.

Lexa could only think of Einstein and what he said: "God does not play dice with the universe." She laugh about it, because the whole situation was absolutely ridiculous. If she had even tried to meet the girl, she not going to make it, simply because the universe is too bitch to give something to any individual. And it's as he if playing at the expense of the people, as if the universe were a director of some kind that interacts with the events and scenery. A director who likes to create chaos and disorder at the expense of someone. And that someone recently, was nothing but Lexa.

-

That evening she found herself in bed thinking about all that had happened with the stranger, from the very beginning. The funny thing was that she saw her for the first time at school, but after that, she met her only at the park or in the middle of the street. She realized that the first time they spoke was just because of a creepy guy not far from where she was sitting.  
Her mind led her to think about how the girl seemed concentrated in her notebook, not paying attention to what was happening around her. She seemed in a world of her own, consisting of a simple pencil and a blank sheet of paper, where she freed all she had inside, getting rid of all that haunted her. Lexa remembered the loneliness that she saw in the girl. Not that kind of loneliness for the lack of people around her or the lack of friends, no. That inexplicable loneliness that has no form of explanation. Either you know it or not. And Lexa knew it too well.  
She stood up suddenly, remembering that she hasn't responded yet to the message. She picked up the phone and saw that it was 11:55, it was late and she didn't want to wake up the blonde if she was sleeping, but she wouldn't go to bed without answering to her, even if seemed selfish. Lexa opened the message and smiled when she read the number saved "Stranger from the park".  
She mused repeatedly about whether to write or not the message, eventually she decided that a simple message wouldn't have been able to wake up the other girl.  
«Concerned that I wouldn't have come Sunday?» Lexa wrote, uncertain about the message, worried about the fact that was late. But she didn't think about it too much, otherwise she knew she wouldn't do anything if she had pulled the things for long. So she pressed send without thinking twice, cursing herself for giving too much weight to a simple message.  
Lexa received a reply after 7 minutes, not like Lexa was waiting a answer, absolutely not.  
«I don't deny that I would be disappointed in postpone our date.» Lexa smiled at the answer, surprised at how the girl has called their meeting a date and laughed when she saw that the blonde was rushed to send another message «I mean, not that it's a date, I mean, it is, but not as an date date, You know? Yeah, okay.»  
«Riiiight. So, I'd better go, I will not keep you awake, see you around, stranger from the park. Good night.»She didn't want to keep the blonde up until late, even if she wanted talk with her.  
«Good night knight! :)» Lexa looked up with a smile when she read the nickname, maybe after all it would have been better say at the girl her name.  
Lexa thought for a bit and at the end she decided against her better judgment and wrote another message to the girl. Once sent, she puts the phone on the nightstand and sat herself under the covers, unable to contain her smile and her mind. She felt like a happy idiot.

-

And while Lexa smiled like an idiot in her own bed, Clarke was smiling like an idiot looking at her phone, happy to read «And by the way, I would be disappointed too."  
Both girls fell asleep with a smile on their faces, both wondering how it was possible that a perfect stranger could affect their lives like this.

The next morning Clarke was happy, for no apparent reason. Was Wednesday.  
There were only three days left. Only three.

«It's only seven in the morning, is like the middle of the night, how can you even think to smile like that?» Raven grumbled, tired for the effort that her friend was making to smile.

Clarke rolled her eyes, thinking how overdramatic Raven sounded. Yeah sure, it was seven o'clock in the morning, but that was the point. They had a whole day in front of them, groping in the dark, unaware of what was going to happen to them. There were so many possibilities of what could have happened. Perhaps they would meet an alien or maybe they witnessed a fall of a spaceship and met people who lived in the space for decades, the hell, even centuries.  
Clarke knew that both ideas were totally ridiculous, but she couldn't stop thinking that the universe had a strange sense of humor and who was she to exclude certain possibilities?  
She knew her sudden optimism was because she would come to know a girl with whom she felt some kind of connection. Hell if she knew, she had been a bit of time to hope to meet again the girl. She returned several times to the park after their first meeting, telling herself that it was not to see her again but only because she wanted to capture the beauty of the lake surrounded by greenery that extended into the park. Although once she got a look at the lake, with only herself, her thoughts and simply quiet, she couldn't stop herself to draw the stoic brunette,she couldn't stop the desire to try to draw that intensity and that little spark that she had seen in her green eyes.  
Her eyes. Clarke couldn't stop thinking about it, she couldn't stop thinking about what she had seen in her eyes, studying them, wanting to spend minutes, hours, even days watching them and hoping with all her being to have the ability to enclose everything overwhelming that they enclosed.

«Would be strange to feel some kind of connection with a total stranger?» Clarke asked at Raven, staring off into space.

«Mh, I guess depends on what do you mean.» The other girl said, putting books in her locker, not paying much attention to what her friend was asking.

«As if you felt that the universe will attracted you two close, one way or another. When you know that there might be a friendship so deep as to make you totally vulnerable.»  
Clarke said, trying to find words but totally aware of failing.

«So why should anyone worry about whether it's normal or not, the important thing in everything we feel is that makes us happy and if it does, well, who cares if would be considered strange. Life is one, it's better be a player rather than a simple viewer.» 

Clarke thought of the words of her friend. She knew she was right, but she didn't want to exceed any boundaries with the stranger. The fear of making a mistake and scare away the other girl, scared her. Clarke couldn't explain the type of connection that she felt with the brunette, but she felt it and she had no idea what to do about it.  
She felt the fear of ruining this possible new friendship with the fear that everything could be too much to handle for her.  
The bell brought Clarke back to reality, she saw that while she was in deep thought Octavia had arrived and was already discussing with Raven about God knows what. She looked up to her friends and headed to her math class thinking that perhaps her friend was right.

Life is one and get checked by fear wouldn't lead her anywhere and she would lose so much that could make her happy.  
She thought that perhaps this time was worth to be a player, rather than be a simple viewer.


	6. Insecurities and Fears.

Lexa was lying on the roof of her house, out of the window of her room. She felt anxious for the meeting which she would have the following morning with the girl with the blonde hair and the smile (and eyes) breathtaking.  
The two girls had exchanged a few messages during the week deciding that they would meet to their bench.  
Lexa found herself to observe the starry sky, trying to figure out how many stars the shine of the moon was covering. She began to believe that if she had studied a star hard enough, just focusing on it, she could see it shine, burning. Lexa felt as if all those little, tiny lights in the sky, were studying her, trying to figure out how she would shine, how she could burning life. The funny thing is that she didn't even know, or rather, she wasn't sure what made her feel really alive. She could feel the adrenaline in her veins while she ran through the rain, pushing herself harder and harder. She felt the blood in her veins when she admired a sunset or sunrise, or when she felt the rain water scroll on her, washing away all her worries. But she couldn't consider all these things her true essence of life, because they simply couldn't be, not on a daily basis anyway.  
Life is just a walking shadow, right? She was looking for something that pushed her to change her point of view, was looking for something that would make her believe that life was more than sacrifice and pain. After all, she wanted her fair share of pleasure and pain, why was all reduced only to pain? She deserved more than that, she deserved happiness. She deserved a purpose, although she was totally unaware of what it was, she didn't care, she just wanted one. She wanted to fight a battle in which she had a reason to do so.  
She was beginning to admit to herself that this perfect stranger made her feel good, even with the little messages like "Did you know that on average we do 2-3 dreams at night? Some people even 7.. I wonder what the hell they could dreaming about so much.." I mean, of course Lexa didn't know it, why should she? But the fact that the blonde girl knew it and she told it to her, made her smile. It made her smile because who could ever care what strangers dreaming about? But the stranger was interested and made her smile because it was so obviously strange that only made her more special and she couldn't stop thinking about how it make her feel well even if at the same time terrified her. She didn't know, but the fact to try this unexplainable connection with her, she did believe that perhaps not everything was left to chance. That maybe this can friendship could have been the turning point of which Lexa had so needed.  
And she smiled at the sky, smiled to the universe. For the first time in a long time, Lexa smiled to herself.

-

While a girl couldn't control the anxiety for their awaited dat-meeting. For their so awaited meeting. The other girl could no longer stay in her own skin.  
Clarke was elated, terrified, excited, happy, insecure. Clarke was a time bomb that could have exploded at any time and she didn't have a good self-control.  
She wanted to get to know the brunette, she wanted to get to know her name, she wanted to get to know her greatest wish.  
But she had a question in her mind that continues to bother her , putting more and more weight on her shoulders. She kept wondering if maybe all this interest was only for the mystery of the whole situation, if it was for the fact that she didn't know even the name of the girl. And now Clarke was frightened by the thought that if all the mystery was gone, her interest in the girl would do the same. But then she thought that if she came to that conclusion maybe their relationship or whatever it was, it was more rooted than she thought.  
This conclusion is what scared her even more. The fact of worried about a perfect stranger so much, couldn't be anything good. Absolutely nothing good.  
She thought to sending a message to the girl, telling her that something came up and she couldn't go the next day or she would say simply the truth and say that this was crazy. But she didn't. And now she was at a crossroads, where she had to choose whether she wanted to do what she thought was "right" that mean easier, and what she really wanted to do, namely to know the girl without any unnecessary concern, leaving the things at fate and living the present.  
She felt that inside her was setting in motion a battle, she felt that the right side of herself was screaming to go, to stop worrying, to stop herself from denying the small pleasures of life, what could go wrong? One more friend is never too much. But she also felt the left side, the rational, the logical one, telling her to give up on the girl with no name, the girl who inexplicably attracted towards herself.  
"Heart or mind? Preventing the pain and save me from it or throw myself headlong into the unknown and hope for the best?" Here are the questions buzzing in Clarke's mind. She was too exhausted to think clearly, began to feel the weight of her day, thoughts, emotions get the upper hand on her, she decided to go to bed, trying to take some sleep.  
She would decide what to do once that she would wake up, when she would have a little break.

-

Lexa has arrived in the park with ten minutes early, preferring to wait for the girl rather than keep her waiting. She listened some music looking at the sky, looking at the birds. And she was thinking how they seemed free in middle of the blue sky, the clouds, without any stupid concern.  
While she was lost in thought, Lexa not noticed the other girl watching at her, with a smile on her face. Clarke was still insecure about her meeting with the brunette, trying to explain to herself that it was not really a big deal.  
The point was just that the whole situation was a big deal, because Clarke couldn't hear anything but mixed feelings inside herself, trying to make sense of it all even though she was aware that there wasn't one.  
That's why she returned on her steps, that's why she ran away from the park. Away from the girl. Because she was terrified of the fact that a perfect stranger could make her feel so much things together, because how the hell was even possible that she felt excitement, pleasure and fear all at once thanks to someone who didn't know? She ran away while inwardly screaming "Coward!"  
And she knew it was the biggest mistake of her life, she knew that she would regret it. She knew that she would never again met someone with whom she felt so well by keeping silent.

Anger is what Lexa felt when she realized that the girl wasn't coming. She was angry for giving at herself a chance with the stranger even if her brain had told to her not to do it, because the girl was just an unknown. But most of all, she was angry with herself for the feeling of disappointment that has invaded her. She was angry for feeling something that she had never experienced, something she didn't like at all.  
After an hour of waiting, she decided to go away from their bench, that park, from anything that would make her think at the blonde. So she found herself wandering with earbuds in her ears, watching the people go by, watching them interact with each other. She couldn't understand why humans had so much need of social interactions, even though they knew they were just illusions, they were fake.  
She was convinced that the reports were a consequence of a human necessity, not a will. Not that there weren't any exceptions, she thought them could be a possibility, not that she was sure one hundred percent, but she has considered the possibility. She wanted to get to know the stranger, she really wanted it, she still wants to and that hurts her.  
She stopped at a coffee shop, feeling the urge to a bit of hot chocolate.  
When she came out with the cup in her hand, she decided to go home, despite her intentions to spend her Sundays in touch with the world, today she didn't feel at all in the mood. She wanted to go home and continue to watch Daredevil, but she decided that she would make a hot bath and then she would be thrown in her bed, not getting up until the next day.  
Was foolish of her to think that once passed by the park, she wouldn't enter one last time, hoping to meet the girl who had given hole to her.  
She sat down once again on their bench resigned to the fact that everything she believed until now, were only nonsense. The only thing she couldn't understand was the fact that the girl had not made at all, without a message, saying nothing, as if she wanted to have nothing to do with her.  
It was late when Lexa decided to go home, she had to eat, but she had no desire to do it, she just wanted to go to sleep so as to free the mind, so that she can put all that concerned the perfect stranger behind herself.  
When she came out from the park began to return at home and she turned off her phone, wanting to restore order in her head, wanting to understand what actually was happening to her.  
"Hey!" Lexa was frozen on the spot, wanting just to move on, leave it all behind. Leave her behind. But then she felt a hand on her shoulder that made her turn to and saw the stranger watching her with an intensity in her eyes that she had never seen.  
"Hi." She replied, tired and wanting to go home. After a small nod, Lexa returned on her way, not wanting to have anything to do with the girl at the moment.  
Clarke decided to chase the girl, didn't want to commit two errors in one day. She knew it was wrong, she knew had to fix it, she knew that the girl was worth it and she knew she was stupid.  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't blowing you off, it wasn't my intention"  
Lexa stopped the girl without blinking "No problem." She said. She didn't want to let her know that what she had done hurts her. She didn't want to drop her guard again to get only more harm.  
"Instead there is! I was stupid, I am stupid! I was scared, okay? I know it will seem ridiculous, I know it isn't an excuse for what I did, but I was fucking terrified. I am still afraid." Clarke said grabbing the arm of Lexa and looking straight in her eyes. "I'm really sorry, let me fix that, let me explain why, please."  
Lexa was tired, she was tired of the sense of disappointment that she could feel. She was tired from the battle that she was leading inside herself. But she decided that if she had to put a point to anything she had whit the perfect stranger, she would have to do it in the right way. So she nodded her head, giving at the girl the confirmation that she would listen.  
Clarke was happy to have the opportunity to be able to explain at the brunette why she ran away. She didn't think twice to take the girl with her and say "I'm starving and I bet you are too, so we go to buy something to eat. It's on me."  
And Lexa was angry that she could hardly hold back the smile that the girl was pulling of from her.

-

Clarke decided they would eat somewhere else, without people around them and for Lexa was fine. She was fine that she could spend for one last time a bit of time alone with the blonde girl.  
Clarke knew she had made a mistake, that she had hurt the girl although she tried not to show it. She understood that the stoic facade and her attitude was just a mask used as a self-defense system. Made her feel sick to think that this time she was the reason.  
The blonde stopped the car at the park, got out of the car in a hurry and went to opened the door for the other girl, doing a little bow and holding out her hand to help her out of the car.  
Lexa snorted in response rolling her eyes and got out of the car ignoring the other girl, heading to their bench. Clarke didn't remain surprised by the attitude of the other girl, she expected it and it made her smile.  
"We're not going there, follow me." The blonde said, taking a blanket out of the car and heading towards the lake. That was her place. The place where she would be lost in a thousand thoughts and she would spend hours drawing, heedless of the world. She had never brought anyone with her. It was a quiet place, desolate, perfect for being alone with herself. But she decided that the girl was the exception to the rule, sending at the hell all her fears and worries.  
Once Clarke settled the blanket on the lawn, she motioned for Lexa to sit beside her, turning herself to the lake and the trees beyond it. It looked like a painting, a perfect mix of colors and subjects, releasing a sense of tranquility and peace.  
After spending a bit of time eating in silence, Clarke couldn't bear more silence.  
"I was coming" She began, turning to look at the girl, waiting for a sign that she was listening and when she saw that the brunette gave her a questioning look, she continued.  
"I came first, I was excited. I was glad to know you. God, it was the only thing I could think about all week. But this morning when I saw you I just panicked."  
Lexa heard the girl speak, without interruption, giving her the time she needed. She was surprised by the confession, didn't expect any of that, she thought that the stranger wanted nothing to do with her because she was all too weird or that she had realized that she was a waste of her time. But to feel that she actually frightened the girl, she couldn't understand.  
"Probably will not have any sense to you, but I feel like we have some kind of connection. I know it's absurd, and it's precisely the point. Why do I have this need to know you ever since I saw you for the first time when you stumbled in the hallway of the school? I can't give an explanation for anything, except to think that it's all so stupid. " Clarke said, without leaving the eyes of the brunette, trying to figure out whatever she was going through the head of Lexa.  
"No, this don't make any sense. But I understand what you mean. I imagine that things will return to normal once we take our streets and we can put it all behind us." Lexa said, looking at the lake.  
"So that's how it ends?" She heard by the stranger, without looking away from the lake.  
"Nothing ends because nothing is ever started." Lexa said, starting to get up and picking the boxes they had left.  
Clarke asked to herself how was possible that a sentence could hurt so much, but she could't blame the girl. She betrayed her trust, she had blowing her off. Now she have to fix it.  
"Thanks for lunch." The brunette said, starting to leave, but stopped when she heard the girl tell her to wait. She turned to see the blonde sitting on the blanket, watching her intently with a look of hope.  
"Can I at least know your name?"  
Lexa was undecided about what to do and probably the girl could see the internal conflict on her face, because she stood up from where she was and stood in front of her.  
"If you don't want to tell me it means you still want to know me. And I'll make it up to you." The blonde smiled, happy that maybe she had a possibilities with the brunette.  
Clarke was determined to know the girl, this time she was firmly convinced that she wouldn't run away. Convinced that she would do everything in her power to get to know the girl in front of her that was trying with all herself not to smile.  
"Do you not know that there comes a midnight hour when every one has to throw off his mask?" Clarke said, smiling at the girl, trying to make her understand that sooner or later, she will have to be herself. She saw the girl making a gesture with her head likely as a sign of greeting. So Clarke stepped forward and placed a kiss on the cheek of the girl, whispering at her ear a little "I'm sorry" and returning to take the blanket that she had previously positioned on the ground.  
Lexa decided she wouldn't smile in front of the blonde. She had promised it to herself. And so she did. But she couldn't stop the smile that broke out on her face once the blonde had turned her backs.  
Lexa had not the faintest idea what to feel. If happiness for the fact that the girl wanted to remedy or angry with herself because, once again, she would have succumbed to the unknown.


	7. Second chance and Superheroes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I just wanted to thank for the kudos and all those who are following the story. I really appreciate it. So, I'm not sure if I will continue the story, but thank you for everything.  
> Ps. Is even possible that I fall in love more and more with Alycia? Unbelievable.  
> Pps. I'm sorry for all the errors.

All she wanted was a second chance and Clarke was decided with all herself to try to earn it.  
She was aware that she didn't know the other girl or at least not fully, but the point was just that. She has always had a small part of her that wanted to know her and after having talked for a while with the stranger, the small part has become the essence that of Clarke.  
She had no idea how to fix the mistake she had committed because she didn't knew nothing of her. She had seen the girl several times at the park and only once at school. With Anya. The blonde knew that she shouldn't involve anyone else but she maintained Anya as a last resort.   
She really hoped to meet the girl at the park, thinking that the universe would have been on her side for a last time.  
That's why at seven o'clock in the morning she was at the entry of the park, with her sweatpants, a light sweater and two cups of hot chocolate. She remembered seeing the girl run under the rain two weeks ago, she hoped to meet her again this morning and to explain to her how their possible friendship was important for her.  
"You're a stalker now?"  
Clarke jumped at the sound of the voice, not expecting someone to come from behind her, but happy to know that after all she was right on the girl.  
"I was waiting and I'm not a stalker, I'm just someone trying to correct their mistakes. And geez, what time do you wake up to run?" The girl asked, handing the cup at the brunette with a slight layer of sweat on her forehead. She could see the pink cheeks for the effort, the green eyes with a hidden emotion that she couldn't recognize. "It's hot chocolate, I hope you don't mind. It's not poisoned, I swear."  
Lexa looked at the girl across, didn't expect the girl in front of her, let alone the perfect stranger with a cup of hot chocolate just for her. She was pleasantly surprised, she admit it to herself, despite that made her vulnerable. What has made her even more surprised was the fact that the blonde wanted to try to make a friendship with her.  
"Thanks, I didn't expect to find you here."  
Clarke smiled, she was happy to be able to surprise the girl, even more happy for the fact that the girl had not sent her away. Yet.  
"Well, I don't have many ways to show you how sorry I am for what I did last time, at least I have the element of surprise on my side." The girl said to the brunette, without ever looking away from her eyes. She felt as if she could get lost looking at them, studying them. She could see how many things they tried to hide and she wanted to discover them all, one after another.   
She wanted to be someone for the girl, she was determined that if she had a chance would show at her what she saw with her own eyes when she looked at her.  
"And the chocolate." Lexa smiled for the first time, unaware that she was making the blonde so happy to review that smile after so long.  
"And the chocolate. Only for special people though." Clarke replied, without worrying. She was tired to be worried, she just wanted to be her friend.  
Lexa was happy to be already red for the race that she had done previously, so that the stranger couldn't notice that actually made her blush.   
Lexa Woods doesn't blush for what people say. Never. She is Lexa Woods.  
"So what have you planned for today?" Clarke asked, noting that the other girl wouldn't answer. She thought she saw her blush even more, but immediately erased the thought, she didn't want to dwell too much on details like these, she didn't want to stay even more disappointed if the girl would decided not to talk with her anymore.  
"Well, nothing special. You?" Lexa said, still smiling at the girl. Despite she repeated in her mind that the stranger wouldn't have asked her to do something together, she hoped it more than anything else, forgetting all the anger that she has felt during the week.  
"How about if we resume from where we left?" Clarke asked hopefully, wanting with all herself know the girl.  
"First I need a shower." The brunette smiled, raising her fist in the air mentally, deciding that she would be happy now, without regard to how things would go.  
Clarke on the other hand, not caring how she appeared to the other girl's eyes, shouted a little "Yey!" with a fist in the air. She was happy, she wanted to show it at the brunette, she wanted her to understand how much she really cared.  
Saying that Lexa was surprised is an understatement. She didn't expect a certain reaction from the blonde. The attitude from the girl, made her feel something inside that she couldn't explain and this never happened to her before, she hadn't no experience with all this emotion and stuff and whatever this was. So she decided which it would have been a thought for another time. All that mattered at the moment was the blonde in front of her, with a wonderful smile and the contagious happiness.  
"I'm glad to be able to improve your day." Lexa joked again, starting to walk and rolling her eyes to the other girl's childish behavior. Although she had done exactly the same things in her mind.  
"Oh please, don't overdo it now." The blonde replied, immediately putting up with the other girl, and still smiling. Clarke was undecided whether to wait for the girl at the park or go with her, but she didn't want the girl thought she would blow her off again, so quickly she said "It's okay if I'll take you home?? I mean, you can stop me before we get to your home and then I'll wait there. I just want you to know I'm not going to run away and we could use that time to know each other a little bit"  
The blonde spoke all of a breath, without giving Lexa time to answer, she wasn't sure she could take no for an answer.  
"If you had given me the chance to answer to you I would have said that it's ok 20 minutes ago." The brunette teased, surprised by the ability of the other girl to speak so fast. Also surprised for herself for having understood all that she had said.  
"Fine! Good, and it wasn't 20 minutes." Clarke muttered, embarrassed by the situation, but still happy to be able to go with the girl.  
Lexa was glad to be able to spend time with the stranger. For the whole week she did nothing but try to push away from her mind the blonde without any real result, she was glad to be able to give a truce at herself. She was glad to finally know something about this complete stranger who always seemed to draw her towards her.  
"So, you haven't told me yet at what time you get up to run." The other girl's voice brought her back to reality, remembering that the person that was invading her mind was right next to her, trying to have a real conversation.  
Lexa smiled at the question, surprised that actually mattered at the blonde.  
"It depends on how I go to sleep the night before, the week that I spent, as I slept. Usually at five, so that I can see the sunrise and when sometimes I feel too exhausted I decide to sleep for another hour. " The brunette said, looking straight ahead.  
Clarke was surprised by the response, particularly on how the girl would get up so early to watch the sunrise.  
"An extra hour makes you feel less exhausted? Really?" The blonde joked, not believing at the girl.  
She smiled, understanding how someone could seem it strange. "My six are for you like.. Midday." Lexa joked, looking at the blonde with a smile.  
Clarke looked at the girl by her side, raising her right eyebrow she was asking for an explanation, but received only a smile wider. The blonde decided to let it go for this time, giving a slight push with her shoulder at the girl, shaking her head and smiling.  
"So what do you prefer, the sunrise or the sunset?" She asked, changing the subject.  
"I don't have a preference, I find both sensational moments. And as if one would represent the beginning and the other represents the closure of that beginning, but not the end. I'm not able to describe it. But what I think it's that I can't really enjoy the dawn without the sun or vice versa. You? " The brunette concluded , looking at the stranger straight in her eye.  
Clarke mused on the other girl's words. She was aware that the perfect stranger was much more than just beauty, but she couldn't help but remain struck by the passion with which she spoke.  
"I think I'm beginning to get a fresh perspective, I'll let you know when I'll know more" She said, unable to formulate a thought that had any sense.  
Lexa smiled, shaking her head at the girl by her side.  
They sat in comfortable silence for a while, until Lexa didn't realize that they were almost at her house. The brunette was glad that at home there was just Anya and she definitely was still asleep.  
She gestured to the blonde to tell her that they had arrived and the girl stopped on the spot, deciding that she would wait her out, don't wanting to exceed any boundaries.  
"Come on, it's cold out here and I have to take a shower. I will not wash myself with the thought of you here in the cold." The brunette said, without turning around to look at the stranger and heading home.  
The blonde smiled at the words of the girl, happy that the stranger after all, worried about her.  
Lexa took the girl for her bedroom, glad to have almost a obsessive-compulsive behavior in regard to the order in her room.  
"Make like it's your room, I will not take too long. You can turn on the TV or whatever." Lexa said, taking her things and closing the door behind her.  
Clarke found herself alone in the stranger's room, glad to be able to see a little piece of her world. It was exactly as she expected, except for the wall full of books. She found herself fascinated by all the books that the brunette had in her room, surprised to see a section entirely for comics. Clarke would never have believed that she would be a nerd. An extra bonus, Clarke thought.  
One book in particular caught her attention. She remembered that it was the book that she was reading the first time they met at the park. She picked it up, curious to know what the girl had been so focused and interested throughout the afternoon. When she saw her drawing amidst the pages, she couldn't stop the smile that broke out in her face. She felt as if the gesture meant something. The brunette could have put the drawing anywhere, at any place, in any other book. Instead she took exactly this. She barely had the time to read the pages on which the design was placed, before she heard the door being opened.  
And Clarke wasn't prepared for what she saw.  
Because what she would never have expected to see was the perfect stranger into a pair of skinny ripped jeans, a black lace bra and her hair tied with braids that started on both sides of her head.  
Lexa has never worried about her body, never. She knew she had a pretty good body but she has never given too much weight. But she was happy to see the growing redness of the blonde and her eyes on her pretty toned tummy.  
"Sorry, I dropped the shirt as I was leaving." Lexa explained, in her state of almost nudity.  
Clarke said nothing, unable to form coherent sentences. She just stood there without any human capacity. Just nodding her head.  
When Lexa turned to put the shirt , Clarke couldn't help but notice the muscles flex of her back and the tattoo that stretched from the lower back to the shoulders of the girl.  
"Oh my God, it's beautiful." Clarke exhaled, walking quickly the distance between her and the brunette and observing the tattoo more closely. She wanted to touch it, to trace it with her own hands. But she didn't want to make the situation embarrassing, not as if it wasn't already, but still.  
Lexa was left with the shirt half way, not expecting that the girl's eyes were still on her. "Thanks. It's the solar system, with some more details.." The girl explained quickly, not wanting to dwell too much on the tattoo.  
Once the brunette put her shirt, she turned around, being closer than she was expected from the other girl.  
Clarke didn't move from her spot. She picked up the book she had in her hands and said "If there wasn't a continuous interplay between opposites, the world would end, mh?"  
"Heraclitus knew his business." Lexa joked, taking the book from the girl and looking at the drawing which lay between the pages. "Do I thanked you for the drawing? It's great."  
"Yes, you told me something while you were running away. But thanks, I had a really good subject." Clarke smiled, happy to know once again that the girl liked her drawing.  
Lexa looked up at the blonde. "Do you want it?" She asked at the stranger, referring to the book she had in her hands.  
"Really? I'd like to read it."  
"Of course, I finished reading it long ago, it made me think about many things." Lexa said, handing the book to the girl and going to the closet looking for something heavier.  
Clarke just nodded in response, had no doubt that the girl stopped herself to think about a differente range of topics. She was pretty sure she could feel the girl's relationship with the world much deeper than people who she usually meets.  
"Here, take this jacket, it's cold outside." Lexa said, giving at the girl a blue jacket.  
"Oh someone cares?" The blonde joked, accepting with a smile the jacket that the other girl was giving to her.  
"I don't want to have faults on my shoulders if tomorrow you will have a cold. I'm saved once already." The brunette replied, referring to the day that they remained in the rain for who knows how long.  
"Mhh" said the blonde girl, not beliving even a single word of what the other girl had said. She was glad to get something heavier. She felt the scent of the girl on the material. She smelled of berries and strawberries.  
Lexa raised only her eyes in response and started to head downstairs, not minding whether the stranger was following her or not.  
"So, I was wondering if do you wanted cook something here and then go to the park?" The brunette asked , not sure of the other girl's plans.  
"Actually.." The stranger began, uncertain whether to tell the truth or not at the other girl. She didn't want to scare her, but she didn't wanted to lie to her either. She thought for a while until she saw the curious look in her green eyes.  
"See.. Actually, I might or I might not have prepared already something.."  
"So you had taken for granted that I would rather be with you than have any other plans?" Lexa asked, using almost the same words that the blonde used for the first time with her. She didn't know whether to be offended by the actions of the girl or simply happy.  
"Not really, I would have stayed at the park anyway! I wanted to stay at the lake and draw.. I only cooked a little more if you had accepted." The stranger said , quickly clarifying that she hasn't given anything for granted. Even less her.  
Lexa thought for a bit, don't really know what to think. She knew for sure that she wanted to spend time getting to know the girl or just spend some time alone with her, in total silence. She realized that the silence that was emerging between them, it was not an uncomfortable silence, but simple tranquility.  
"Fine." Eventually she agreed, rolling her eyes once again at the girl.  
She heard a "Yess!" by the other girl and then a small murmur "If you continues to rolling you eyes as well, eventually they will remain locked in that manner."  
Lexa smiled at the childish behavior of the girl, heading for the front door and keeping the door open for the stranger. "After you.. My lady." And then she thought at the childish behavior of the girl. In that moment Lexa realized that she was being really inconsistent with what she did and thought.  
Her face was hurting for how much she was smiling, but she couldn't care less. She motioned with her head in thanks and before that Lexa could close the door she heard asking "So.. Batman or Superman?"  
She thought with a smile that she had a long day in front of her.


	8. Names and Hugs.

"Rain or sun?" Clarke asked, turning to look at the girl lying beside her.  
The two girls have spent hours talking about what they loved, hated, preferred. One question after another, regardless of the time.They felt no concern, they felt in a world of their own, where there was neither time nor space, just the two of them.  
Lexa looked back at the girl with a look that seemed to say "really?" and she smiled, couldn't really believe that she was asking a such thing.  
"Rain. But depends on the mood too of course. But the rain is what I prefer more. It's like if the rain purify me, you know? I know sounds strange, but I find it comforting. I also love watching through the window the rain beating against the window, see how with the wind alters everything, although just before the sun was out. " The brunette said, looking back at the sky.  
Clarke simply smiled, wasn't at all surprised by the response of the girl. After observing her for an indefinite period of time, she went back to watch the clouds, trying to catch a glimpse of any form.  
"You know.. Sometimes I wonder if there is something like fate or there are only coincidences." The blonde began, still watching what was above them, trying to study every single details that surrounded them, trying to memorize everything. The girl beside her, the sky and the sun above them, the lake and the green around. Everything was too perfect to be anything real, she repeatedly asked at herself "If this were to be only a dream, I would actually wake me up?" She couldn't put a finger on what she felt or she thought. Nothing seemed something safe or something that she actually could understand, not at the moment at least. So she let go, saying that even if it had been a dream, she would kill anyone who would have wake up her.  
"But then I happen things like meeting this girl who I don't know at all, and immediately I feel a connection with her! And then this girl save me from a possible psycho, then some time after I crash into her and then just starts, whatever it is.. And I find it just right. " She continued to explain, turning to look in the eye the girl who was watching at her, both with genuine smiles on their faces.  
"Perhaps you two have known in some past life." Lexa joked, pleased to hear the words of the stranger.  
Clarke laughed at the girl, rolling her eyes to the fact that she had not referred at the  
two of them.  
"It's a possibility! Probably we were best friends, I was the happy, solar and optimistic one while she was obviously the snarky and pessimistic, we were the perfect balance!" The blonde girl joked, trying to hold back a smile.  
"Hey! I'm not a pessimist! Mine is just being realistic." The brunette muttered in response, nearly sulking.  
"You know that is exactly what they all the pessimists say, right?" She said as she stood up, sitting down and placing her hands behind her for support.  
Lexa watched the other girl while she sat. She was bowled over by the beauty that released. She couldn't help but think like blond hair, crystal blue eyes and breathtaking smile, were the fairest union worldwide.  
"Then I'll wait for someone who will change my perspective, I suppose."  
The blonde stared at the brunette. She wanted to confide that she would try to make her see life in a different way, which would make her see that there was something good to live for. That there was some good in this world and was worth fighting for.  
But she said nothing of this. She made a promise to herself, promised to show it to the girl, promised it in silence, only with a determined look in her eyes and a confirming nod. Clarke watched the girl lying. She watched in her state of total tranquility, noticed how her chest rose and fell in a slow pace, as the eyelids hid those hypnotic eyes. She decided to lie down on her stomach, making as little noise as possible and trying to not bother her. She wanted to look at her more closely, she wanted memorize every details of the girl, she knew that they would be served to all future portraits that she would do of this magnificent creature.  
Once settled, she could see up close the girl's face, feeling her breath on her face.  
"You're staring, is creepy." The brunette said, not opening her eyes. "I can even feel your breath on my face."  
The blonde didn't answer, just smiled, still looking at every detail of the girl.  
"Your face is symmetrically perfect."  
Lexa opened her left eye, trying not to laugh. "Wow, I had never received a compliment like this until now, thanks."  
Clarke looked up in response, grinning like an idiot and feeling the warmth take over her face. "Mine is just a fact."  
The brunette decided to look straight in the girl's eyes, decided with her whole being to take up the situation. Too many statements like that would have been able to make her blush,she knew her limits. Well, some of them.  
"Another fact is that you are invading the little personal space that this blanket gives me." Lexa muttered, looking at the girl in the eyes and the lips briefly, quickly looked away. She hoped that with a little of sarcasm would have moved the girl away, but she didn't expect to get the opposite effect.  
"Ow! Wait! " The blonde replied, placing herself closer to the girl, resting her head on the shoulder of the stranger and throwing her left arm on her belly.  
Clarke was a cuddler, everyone knew it except the brunette, of course. She had no shame or concern in showing affection to someone else, she couldn't understand why someone should feel shame for loving someone else. For her love it's one of the few things that keeps the universe in motion, hide it is nothing but a waste of time. Sooner or later, everyone will have to reveal their feelings at the world. Everyone will have to get naked in front at the people they love.  
So despite the initial shock and the various cries of disagreement by the brunette, the blonde didn't move from where she stood.  
With her chin resting on the shoulder of the other girl, she murmured in her ear "Stop moving so much, otherwise I hold you only stronger"  
When she felt the breath against her ear, Lexa barely managed to cover the shiver down her spine. She didn't expect such a situation.  
When she regained her composure and stopped struggling, he growled, "What are you, shifting sands?!"  
"Oh please, like this, we can keep ourself warm." Replied the blonde, ignoring the sarcasm of the snarky girl.  
"I don't even know your name, why should I hug you?" The brunette murmured, staying surprise of the force that the tiny girl had.  
"We can remedy at this!" She smiled, finally feeling the stranger calm down in her arms.  
Lexa wanted to know the girl's name. She wanted to know it, so she could yelling and tell her to let her go, but she knew that this was not the real reason why she wanted to know it.

Lexa looked down,directly at the stranger, giving her a little smile and shaking her head. "What is your name, stranger from the park?" She asked softly, always with a smile on her face.  
Clarke has been overwhelmed by the sweetness of the tone of the girl, she realized that she could perceive the feeling behind the demand from the other girl.  
The blonde stood up not letting go completely the brunette. She wanted to look directly into her eyes. She wanted a full eye contact with her when they could actually say to have passed a certain point in their friendship.  
"Clarke." Simply said, not a single time averting her eyes from the green ones.  
Lexa smiled at the name. "Clarke" she said, trying the name on her tongue.  
The brunette's smile changed into a sneer and the blonde didn't understand what was going on until the other girl didn't turn around and she was lying on the blanket with an additional weight on her. The brunette leaned her chest against Clarke and whispered in her ear "Do not they teach you to not bother the strangers?" She returned to look directly into the crystalline blue eyes, smiling when she saw the look shocked and the face flushed of the blonde. She couldn't help but laugh.  
The other girl got up and once on her feet, gave her a hand to get up.  
The blonde couldn't believe the other girl, didn't expect such action from the girl who always complained about any physical contact. In her mind was swirling the image of the girl leaning against her, breathing in her ear, the intensity she had seen in her eyes. Her lips so close to her that if she moved just a little bit, she would have been able to capture in her own. But she didn't want this, she just wanted to be friends with the girl. It was just an oversight for the sudden change of the situation.  
"Just because I don't know your name does not mean I don't know you. At least we passed that boundary for a while, by now." Murmured the blonde, still a little stunned by the speed of the brunette change.   
"I want to know your name, knight in shining armor." She added with a smile, taking hold of herself and looking into the eyes of the other girl.  
Lexa smiled, happy to have a certain power over her. "Lexa." She said simply, not looking away.  
Clarke smiled, immediately finding that the name was suitable to the girl. It was perfect for the girl. "Lexa" she continued to smile, wanting to hear her voice with the girl's name.  
"Well Lexa, now that I know your name, I can hug you!" Smiled Clarke, happy to annoy and being able to keep the girl close to her for no apparent reason. She saw the look of disappointment on the part of the brunette, just before throw herself against her, throwing both on the blanket.  
The blonde laughed to hearing Lexa struggling in her arms, but she couldn't help but hold her more stronger. She needed to make it clear to the girl that the demonstrations of affection were not a bad thing, she felt like a feeling that Lexa considered them a sign of weakness.  
"I will not stop to hug you until you tell me that at the end, you like it." Clarke muttered, almost on top to the girl.  
"Never. Now can you please come down? I already told you that certain things, I make only after three dates. " The brunette tried to joke, starting to feel good in the arms of the blonde. If someone had asked to her, however, she would never admit it. She was too proud.  
Feeling the other girl shake her head in denial, Lexa decided to overturn both, putting her legs on either side of Clarke and locking her arms above her head.  
"I forgot to ask you.. Are you ticklish?" The brunette smiled, happy to have finally taken control in her hands.  
Clarke was shocked by the speed in which the girl could change both attitude and situation. She couldn't stop thinking about how everything was so right with her, trying to find any little fault she could think of. But maybe, she thought, was too early for find someone. She has not been even once disappointed by what the girl was. She was glad to be able to see all these sides of Lexa, to get to know them. She saw her with raised walls, in times of a joke, for a few seconds even with the walls lowered just because the girl would have allowed her and it was something that made Clarke so happy because this meant that everything she felt the other girl felt too.  
"Pff, how old are you?" The blonde asked, trying to hide her anxiety. But the brunette didn't listen to her, she simply smiled even more broadly and freed one of her hands from the grip of the hands that held above the head of the blonde. She moved slowly, savoring every little twitch on the girl's face. Lexa could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest, couldn't tell if it was the adrenaline of the whole situation or if it was for the girl under her with a look of fear that she tried to hide from a defiant look in her eyes. But nevertheless, she felt happy, lighter than she has ever feel. She admired the girl beneath her, with crystal blue eyes, almost gray. She watched her face that was framed by blonde locks and she watched how the girl was trying not to smile. But she could see the corners of her lips twitch. Lexa came back to reality, leaving for a later time all the thoughts that were invading her mind.  
She touched slowly her left arm that she kept locked, enjoying seeing the other girl fight. Or at least try. She put her hand to the ribs of Clarke and after a damn long pause for dramatic effect, began to tickle her.  
After several minutes, Clarke could no longer breathe, begging the other girl to stop, telling her that she would do anything if she'd let her go.  
"Anything?" Asked the brunette, seizing the opportunity.  
"Whatever, but you have to let me go." The blonde specified with tears in her eyes as she laughed and struggled.  
Lexa agreed, freeing the blonde and helping her to her feet. She saw a tear escape from the crystal blue eyes and slowly with her thumb wiped it out, directing a smile to the girl. The gesture caught the breath of the blonde, but immediately smiled back, silently thanking her with a nod of the head.  
"So, what do you want me to do?" Clarke asked, starting to walk away, taking the blanket on which they had been up to that point and starting to put the things away.  
Lexa smiled, helping the other girl. She wasn't sure, she didn't want to say something about two feet without thinking too much, so she decided to take her time to think about it.  
"I'll let you know once I have decided." She said with a smile.  
"Fine, but don't be too bitchy." The other girl snorted, resigning herself to her fate.  
After fixing all, they headed to the car to Clarke. It was late and both knew that they should have go back at home time ago, but none of them was ready to let the other.  
"Come on, I'll give you a ride." The blonde said, opening the passenger side for the other girl.  
"Wow, thanks for taking the trouble to ask me!" Lexa joked, looking at the other girl with a raised eyebrow.  
"Would you do me the honor to take you home?" Clarke asked, her voice oozing sarcasm but for Lexa didn't matter, however, along with the girl smiled and replied, "Oh my, it would be my honor."  
The blonde raised up her eyes in response and smiled at the brunette's behavior, unsure if she could now considered the girl a friend or not. She decided she would ask it later and if she had to, she would set herself as her friend.  
The ride was quite and they arrived quickly. Neither of them knew what to do. Both turning around on their seats, looking and smiling at each other.  
Clarke didn't give her time to thank her for the passage. She didn't want to hear it, she didn't want to be thanked so she started to speak, not giving her time to be able to even think of speaking. "Thank you. Thanks for giving me a second chance, thanks for making me spend an unforgettable day." The blonde began, with a smile on her face and Lexa could feel the sincerity behind the words. "I was wondering if do you want to be my friend? I know that sounds ridiculous and this wouldn't mean that you forgive me, because I still have not forgiven myself for leaving you in that way last time, but I know I want to be your friend because I feel that we have this bond so special that I've never feel before with anyone else and I don't really want to los- "  
Lexa stopped the girl that was starting to babble to an absolutely non-human speeds placing a hand on her arm, looking at her with a smile on her face much bigger than the last.  
"I would love to be your friend Clarke." She said, feeling as if she came back to kindergarten with this statement so strange in the mouth of an almost eighteen person, but she couldn't help but feel that the whole situation was right.  
The blonde looked at the hand of her new friend on her arm and then threw herself into her arms, glad to be able to hear those eight simple words. For the first time she felt the other girl's arms around her, holding her close and she smiled against the brunette's neck, feeling the scent of wild berries and blackberries. She thought it would be her favorite smell for the next days, hell, probably even months.  
Once the girls were separated, Lexa got out of the car, not believing she could still look the girl in the eye without embracing her for the umpteenth time. She felt good in her arms. A sense of satisfaction in herself that she had never experienced until then and she couldn't help but enjoy all the opportunities that would put in her ways.  
"Thanks for not giving up on us Clarke, goodnight." Lexa said, before closing the car door, looking directly into the eyes of the blonde, wanting to make her understand what she was sincere in her words.  
Seeing the finality in the other girl's words, she decided to respond to what she said, seeing that she didn't feel a heart to heart talk and simply replied "Goodnight Lexa." With a smile on her face.  
Both girl were happy for the day they spent togheter.  
Once Lexa stepped through the front door, she felt a rush coming from upstairs, looked up when she saw Anya look warily to her with one hand resting on her right side. Lexa knew her sister wanted to make the third degree at her, so she resigned herself to her fate and nodded her head as if to say "go, ask what you want"  
Anya's face broke into a smile and dragged the little sister to the couch that stood in the living room, pushing her down and putting herself comfortable.  
"Who was?!" She asked screaming, unable to contain her enthusiasm.  
Lexa raised an eyebrow at this, casting a questioning glance at her sister, unable to understand how her sister knew that there was actually a who.  
"I was watching from the window, now shoot!" She explained quickly, wanting to get some answers.  
"You have a real need for a personal life. That who was Clarke" The brunette smiled, letting get the name of her new friend on her tongue.  
"Oh my god, Clarke as Clarke Griffin ?! Clarke as the hot artist?" She don't lost the smile of her sister but she decided to say nothing for the moment .  
Lexa only gave her a sideways glance, not wanting to hear her sister talking in this way about the other girl.  
"I didn't know you knew her" Anya said, ignoring the look that the other girl was launching to her.  
"It's a recent thing, long story." The girl finished, convinced that she wasn't able to explain the whole situation, not at the time at least.  
"And what are you waiting for tell me about it!" She yelled, punching Lexa's arm, unable to believe that she was saying practically nothing.  
"If you continue to abuse me, I will not tell you anything! Damn, you're stronger than it looks." Grumbled the other girl in reply, rubbing the spot where she had received the blow.  
Lexa began to tell Anya everything that had happened the first time she saw the girl, leaving out some details that she wanted to hide. She wanted her friendship with Clarke was something private for some subjects, she not told her how Clarke had run away, she not told her about the drawnig, she not told her about the meet in the rain and certainly she not told her how fine she found herself today with the blonde.  
Anya smiled to the stories, being able to finally see some excitement on her sister's face. She could tell that there was more than Lexa was telling, but for now was okay, she was glad to see her smiling like that. It was rare and she just wanted to savor what the other girl had managed to do with her little sister.  
Perhaps, it was time for her sister to be happy and she couldn't help but feel relief at seeing her so carefree and without any worries.  
Perhaps, it was time for her sister to understand what the world was reserving for her.


	9. Eyes and Secrets.

Maybe I should stop thinking too much Clarke thought, looking at her phone with open Lexa chat.  
"You know, I don’t think you manage to write something just staring at the screen, unless you've developed some superpower." Raven said, with a grin on her face, not averting her eyes from her friend.  
The blonde ignored her, deciding to write a quickly message and to don’t look at her cellphone for the rest of the evening, focusing only on Raven and Octavia that were presented to her door with pizza, once they had learned that her mother would be working that night .  
But before she could write something, she received a message from the girl who had invaded her mind. She couldn’t stop the smile that broke out on her face.  
"God, what is that smile?" Octavia asked, suspicious by the behavior of her friend. She and Raven had noticed that the blonde was having a strange behavior lately, but they had not said anything, they wanted to give the necessary space at the other girl to decide when to talk to them. But now it was just becoming ridiculous.  
"Nothing" Clarke muttered, taking the narrowest cell. She knew that her two friends wanted to make at her a lot of questions but she just didn’t have the answers.  
She was too taken from smiling like an idiot and staring at her phone to see Raven behind her as she took the phone.  
It happened so fast that the realization for Clarke came after at least thirty seconds, the time needed to Raven and Octavia for read everything that was interesting.  
"I am pleased that we were able to clarify?" Raven has read, smiling at the blonde.  
"Thank you for the pleasant day?" Octavia echoed her friend, surprised by the messages. She suspected that her friend was seeing someone, but she never thought that she was on a date. She would lying if she said that she had felt a bit sad to see that one of her best friends had not confided in her.  
"Give me it back!" Clarke yelled, jumping from the couch where she was sitting and running toward Raven, trying to recover the cell to respond to Lexa.  
Raven ran into the kitchen, holding the bar between her and her now terrifying friend. She realized that in these situations she needs the tackles of Octavia and a safe distance from Clarke.  
Octavia looked amused the whole situation, looking at her two friends yelling at each other, running around the kitchen.  
"Claaaaaaaaarke" She whined "You just have to tell us about this girl, then we'll give you the phone." Octavia smiled, throwing a wink at the brunette with the phone in hand and a grin on her face.  
"And we will happily making fun of you." The other girl added, stopping when she saw Clarke resign and return to her place.  
"I met her at the park." She snapped suddenly, adjusting her hair in a messy bun.  
Once placed on the couch, she saw the waiting eyes and the smiles on the part of her friends, just rolling her eyes in response.  
"Fine! Damn. I saw her at school almost a month ago, but only since a couple of weeks we speak. I met her at the park, she was worried about a creepy guy who was behind me from where I was sitting and then she sat next to me, but I had not even noticed her because I was too focused on drawing. Then when I looked up from the notebook, I saw this girl insanely beautiful sitting next to me although there were a lot of empty benches and I couldn't understand why, so she simply told me that there was a creepy guy and I remained surprise.. " Clarke continued to talk continuously without any interruption by her friends. She was glad to finally be able to tell them everything that had happened last month, leaving out a few details that she thought to be only hers and Lexa.  
She felt the smile on her face as she spoke about the other girl, she felt that feeling of sadness when she told of how she ran away from her. She promised to herself that she would no longer think about it if not for try to rectify her mistake.  
Just like Clarke, even Raven and Octavia could see the smile on the face of their friend, a smile that they had not seen for a long time and that they were happy to see again.  
"So.. Were you on a date today?" Octavia asked, once that her friend had finished to telling.  
"No, we're just friends." Clarke replied, without her smile left her face.  
The two brunettes exchanged a skeptical look, unable to figure out if perhaps it was too early to determine anything or if they were really simply friends.  
"Were about her the questions the last time?" Raven asked, curious by the dynamic between her friend and this stranger. She was glad that her friend had found someone with a certain type of bond, she was convinced that this things would happen for a reason and she couldn't help but think that this, after all, would have done well to Clarke and perhaps even to the other girl.  
The blonde nodded, looking at her phone in the hands of her friend. She was dying to answer at Lexa.  
"Yes, I don't really know how to explain it. It's as if we were destined to know each other, you know? And is fucking weird and normal at the same time. Now, give me my phone back, thank you!" Smiled Clarke, getting up from the couch and holding out her hand to Raven, waiting for her to give her phone back.  
"Fine, but later we want to know more." The brunette grumbled, giving back the phone to the other girl.  
They wanted to know what was going on in the head of their friend that finally made them partakers of what was going on lately in her life, but they didn't want that Clarke would felt compelled to have to tell them something. But sometimes she was just so stubborn and proud that she wouldn't ask help at anyone. She still had to figure out that she couldn't do all by herself and that keep all in, would only consumed her soul piece by piece.  
The blonde stared at her phone for an interminable period of time. The other two girls had decided to prepare some popcorn and watch something on TV once a full minute had passed with nothing but with Clarke staring with a smile on her cell phone and type and delete whatever she was writing.  
"We'll have so much fun with her." Raven whispered, once sitting next to the brunette.  
Octavia couldn't help but laugh and nod in agreement at her friend.  
Unaware of the conspiracy against her, Clarke smiled to the messages received from Lexa. She thought that the brunette wouldn't have written to her. She didn't know exactly why, but she didn't believe that Lexa would give her another one of those pleasant details.  
Maybe I should stop thinking too much about her. She had always revealed the opposite of what she appeared. A dorky that gives incredible hugs. Clarke thought, trying to hold back a smile, she didn't want that her friends would notice that. But she didn't knew that it was too late. Blissful ignorance, right? Right.  
She decided to return to reality, she had yet to respond to her new friend.  
"I should be the one thanking you for giving me a second chance, so thank you."  
She didn't really know what to write. She wanted to write a lot more, she really wanted to thank the brunette for giving her the opportunity to remedy at the mistake that she had made but she also wanted to tell her how well she felt in her company, because their dynamics made her feel right, despite they have spent little time together. But she didn't want to scare her, she didn't want reveal too much too quickly.  
All things at their time, she said at herself. She wasn't known for her patience, but she would wait for Lexa. She knew that the girl wasn't comfortable talking about her feelings, so she decided to give her time, despite even for Clarke was too early to put in words everything that went on inside her.  
She sent the message, simply and directly, without brood too. It didn't take long to get an answer and she was pleased to think that maybe, Lexa was a mess just like her.  
"You're welcome. Now I leave you to whatever you're doing, before I say something that I should not. Goodnight Clarke. Sweet dreams."  
The blonde smiled to the message, the formality of it and she wondered about what Lexa was referring. It will probably be the next thing that she will ask when she sees her.  
She decided not to think too much at the moment, so she wrote a "Goodnight Lexa:)" and put the phone on the coffee table in front of her, without her smile left her face.

-

She knew it would be a bad idea to do a pajama party when the next day would be school, but she couldn't say no to Octavia and Raven. Once the two girls would put something in their heads, she wouldn't deter in any way.  
They arrived late to school, a few minutes after the bell, running to their classes hoping that the teachers wouldn't have exaggerated for their delay.  
Although the day had started badly, at least it looked not getting worse. She felt the weight of the day looming over her, perhaps because she had gone to bed late, perhaps because the day before she had felt so light that she forgot how to actually normal day went or perhaps simply because she was tired.  
She couldn't wait to get out of that prison and escape at her home, maybe even stop at the park for a while. She had decided to give space at the other girl didn't want to be too insistent or breathing down her neck, just as she had thought the night before she didn't want make her run away just because she was too excited by their friendship.  
She spent the first half hour of maths trying to paying attention at the lesson, but she resigned herself once she started drawing random patterns on the notebook. Clarke decided that if she had to stop trying to follow the lesson, she would spend that time doing something productive. She took another notebook, starting to define something, without focusing too.  
When she realized that the random lines were taking the shape of a face too familiar, she froze. She didn't want to draw her. She didn't know why, but she just didn't want.  
Perhaps because she didn't want to be a creeper, perhaps because she didn't want to violate the privacy of Lexa. Maybe she was giving it too much weight, or perhaps she didn't want to scare Lexa if she would found out the drawing.  
So she decided to draw the tattoo she had seen on her back. The blonde found herself fascinated by the tattoo, she wondered what story was behind it, when the brunette did and more importantly, what it stood for her. Clarke wanted to know so much about Lexa.  
She returned to reality by the sound of the bell, she didn't realize how time had flown with one thought in her mind.  
Once out of the math class, she walked to her locker. She needed so much a break even though had spent only two hours.  
Once arrived, she backed her forehead against the cold iron, trying to put order in her head and to recover a bit of forces.  
"Hey there, sunshine!" She heard a voice behind her and she whimpered. Clarke was too tired to have to deal with her friends.  
"How can you be so active?" Grumbled, not moving from where she stood.  
"We didn't have a date yesterday." Octavia smiled, pressing on the word "date."  
Clarke snapped from where she was and gave her a warning look "It was not a date."  
"Sure, whatever you say." The brunette said with a smile on her face, knowing it would only irritated more the other girl.  
"Are you going to see her today?" Raven asked, unable to contain her enthusiasm. No one had the courage to ask what was going through her head, too scared to hear the answer. Everyone knew that Raven Reyes was a bright girl, a little out of the ordinary and really different from any other person you might encounter during their lives.  
Raven knew from the look received by Octavia which meant that after they would speak, but she didn't care at the moment. Raven just wanted answers from the blonde, she was happy to finally see a little action.  
"I don't know. I don't think so.. I want to give her space, but if she take too much time, I'll write to her. I don't want lose this thing we have." Clarke replied, trying to convince herself that she could stay without hear the brunette for a couple of days.  
"I don't think you will have to wait that long." Octavia answered, nodding in the direction behind the two girls.  
They both turned, not understanding what their friend was referring.

-

"I don't think it's a good idea." Lexa said, starting to take books from her locker.  
She was located in the exact spot where she was when she saw for the first time Clarke and ironically, the other girl was in the same condition.  
She wasn't convinced that going to say hello at the girl was a good idea for the simple fact that she wasn't alone. What if she had not spoken about her with her friends? And what if even worse, she didn't want to talk to her in front of them? She knew that Clarke was not so, despite the short time they spent together. It was the only real certainty that she had about the other girl. Clarke was one of the most good people she had ever met. But she didn't wanted to risk. Lexa didn't wanted to create an uncomfortable situation and put herself in ridiculous in front of other people, even though she wanted so badly to go to greet the other girl.  
"I know that your brain it's going a mile a minute, so stop it!" She heard Anya screaming, which brought her back to reality.  
"You have talked to her more than once, you know what kind of girl she is and I know too. If you don't want to go, I'll go. Now you choose: Would you go first or I'll have to go and you will be behind me like a puppy? " She asked, with finality in her voice.  
Lexa snorted. She knew that her sister was right but the thousands of scenarios in her head frightened her, she had not the faintest idea of what she would feel if actually one of them would have taken shape.  
But she put away anything that came into her head. At that moment she realized for the umpteenth time how many excuses she has been able to invent in a few minutes, for fear of some hypothetical and remote scenario that if indeed it would come to create, then wouldn't be worth it. So regained consciousness of herself, of who she was, of the girl who has always been until then and her ability to mask all reactions that could show the emotions swirling inside her, Lexa rolled her eyes to her sister and headed the group of friends, regardless of whether the sister was following her or not.  
She held her head high, the back straight and a smile on her face that interrupted the intimidating attitude that she knew she had. She was a strong girl, she knew it, she knew how people were intimidated by her attitude. The only problem was that no one really knew how she felt inside, especially when she was close to the blonde. But she repeated several times in her head that was due to the fact that these were their first interactions.  
She saw the brunette girl nod in their direction and shortly after the blonde with the other girl turning around toward her.  
"Hey." She greeted floor, as calmly as she could muster and manage, giving at herself a high five in her mind. She motioned to the other girls as a sign of greeting and then turned her attention to Clarke.  
"Hey Lexa!" It was the only thing the brunette felt before she losing herself for how her name sounded so good with the hoarse voice of Clarke.  
She heard her sister greet the girls but she gave no importance until she felt a push against the side by Anya.  
"Mh, sorry?" Lexa asked, returning to reality and looking for the first time at Clarke.  
A thing that she shouldn't have done as she risked a second time to get lost in her thoughts but she managed to keep herself in check. After all, she was Lexa, she said.  
"We were wondering if you were okay, you seemed somewhere else." The brunette with the tail smiles, with a sympathetic look on her face.  
"Yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry." Lexa replied quickly, didn't want to give to see her agitation.  
"Well, these are Raven and Octavia." Anya said, trying to reintroduce her sister from where she had abandoned.  
Lexa made a nod to the girls in greeting, feeling the need to go to class.  
"Nice to meet you. I came to say hello but I have to go in class, so.. See you around girls." The brunette explained quickly, smiling at Clarke and directing another nod to the girls, hoping not to sound too rude.  
She knew she was unpleasent most of the time. It was almost always because of her fear of showcasing a part of herself that she wouldn't want to show anybody, so she just put a mask and preferred to be considered unpleasant rather than vulnerable.  
She walked to her class, not turning around even once.

It was lunchtime and Lexa wasn't hungry. She didn't want to waste her break to spend time in the cafeteria. She decided to anticipate some work so that once she would done her job that afternoon, she would be free or at least, she would have less things to do.  
Lexa headed to the library, after sending a message to her sister. Anya replied that if she changed her mind would have been in the cafeteria with Clarke and her friends. To say that she was surprised would be an understatement, but she ignored the feeling and any thought that came to her mind. Before she could realizing it she was already arrived at the library.  
It was empty and Lexa couldn't be happier. She headed for one of the tables at the bottom and began to pull out all the books she needed.  
Ten minutes passed before she heard someone sit down at her table and it irritated her.  
"I didn't know that all the tables were occupied." She said, without looking up from her books.  
"In fact they aren't, but since I'm coming for you I thought I'd come here." Lexa raised her head when heard the voice, pleasantly surprise of the blonde in front of her and the statement that she had given to her.  
Lexa didn't expect that someone would come looking for her, much less the blonde.  
"How'd you find me?" The brunette asked, raising her eyebrow and smiling at the other girl. She would lying if she would said not to be pleasantly surprised by her sudden company.  
"Anya." Was the only response from the blonde who kept looking at her with the usual stunning smile.  
"Mh.. So, why are you here? Not that I'm complaining." She asked, returning to her books, trying not to stare at the other girl sitting in front of her.  
Clarke didn't answer right away. She was too busy watching Lexa in its environment. She could see that her shoulders were not stiff, she could see how the girl felt quieter than the usual self. She could see the relaxed look on her face. And the only thing that Clarke was capable of doing was smiling.  
"I thought you might be hungry. Have you eaten?" She asked, worried about the brunette.  
"Well, I'm glad you think at me so much! But no, I'm not hungry, you? I hope you have not missed lunch because of me." Lexa said, looking up from her book, looking for the first time the blonde, with a smile on her face.  
Clarke was fascinated by how the glasses framing her eyes so well, as if they were a painting that was protected by the frame. She couldn't look away.  
"I thought we could eat together." Clarke smiled at the other girl, starting to take something from her backpack and ignoring what the brunette had said. She realized in that exactly moment, after all, Lexa really was all too present in her mind.  
Lexa was surprised at how Clarke could always have some food with her, she couldn't explain how every time she was with the blonde, they would have gone to eat. By Clarke's hand.  
"Well, who am I to say no at a beautiful girl?" Lexa just flushed at the words out of her mouth, she but didn't apologize and didn't try to take back what she had said. It was obvious that Clarke was a beautiful girl, she would lying if she would said the opposite. Or blind.  
She saw the embarrassment of the blonde, the shy smile and red cheeks, but it has made her only more beautiful, almost innocent. Almost.  
"A charmer, as well as a knight." Clarke smiled, surprised by the words of Lexa, didn't expect a comment like that but she didn't mind at all.  
"I know. I am a complete package."  
Clarke rolled her eyes in response, ignoring the false security by the girl. She knew that in the end the brunette was insecure, but she thought was best to leave it for the moment. Leave her to be confidente for a little bit.  
They ate in silence and Lexa didn't realize that she was starving.  
"I can not tell if I was hungry or simply this omelette is pretty damn good." The brunette grumbled, finishing what was left in her container.  
Clarke smiled, happy that the other girl would like what she had cooked.  
"I'll make you taste my other dishes then, you do good for my ego." She said with a grin on her face.  
"I don't eat something homemade for centuries. Even something disgusting, to me would be like the nectar of the gods." Lexa said quickly, smiling at the girl who had put a hand to her heart and a look of mock disappointment on her face.  
"Why don't you eat something homemade for so long?"  
"My mother is almost never at home and Anya and me.. Well, we make only sandwiches. Even bad."  
"May I ask why is she never at home?" And she would not have wanted to ask, didn't want to spoil the mood but sometimes her brain can't stop her mouth, as if they were two separate and distinct bodies.  
"You do not have to tell me, I know sometimes I can overcome some limitations. I can wait for you. "Clarke said, sending a wink to Lexa, trying to lift the mood. She would rather embarrass and ridicule herself rather than to feel the brunette compelled to talk about something.  
Lexa blushed, silently thanking the blonde for not push the subject. But promptly recovered by the sweet phrase that the girl had said, sweeping her from her feet.  
"What tells you that sooner or later I will trust you?" He asked, raising his right eyebrow.  
Clarke smiled, knowing what to say: "The eyes are the mirror of the soul. Hides yours if you do not want me to find out your secrets."  
Lexa didn't know what to say, she didn't know what to think. She didn't know what was going on inside her. But more importantly, she had not the faintest idea of the wave of emotions that have overwhelmed her. Here was Clarke, telling her that she would wait for her, she would find out all her secrets, one by one, and Lexa didn't know whether to feel relief or fear.  
She doesn't know for how long she stared at Clarke with the open mouth and a look of pure astonishment, because the next thing that she notices is the other girl get up from where she was and say "See you later Lexa." Accompanied by a kiss on her cheek.  
After an indeterminate time, Lexa returned to reality. She returned to a reality that she finally felt she could accept with joy.  
And at that time it was confirmed that Clarke was one of the people that change your life.  
The only question left it was whether for the worse or for the better. But it didn't matter, it wasn't important and maybe this was the worst thing. She didn't care that influences Clarke would have had on her life. The only thing that she knew was that she wanted with all her being that Clarke was part of her life.


	10. Little Changes and Fries.

"You know, you seem different from usual." Lexa heard Gustus from behind, as she placed a book on the shelf. She knew that it was probably true, she felt different but didn't know exactly how and she didn't care, she wasn't searching for answers because she had not made any questions to herself. Lexa preferred to enjoy the moment rather than analyze it.  
"Or maybe you're the one different." Lexa smiled, she didn't want to be psychoanalyzed from Gustus. She knew he cared about her, but lately she felt in peace with herself and she didn't feel ready to let go that feeling.  
Gustus shook his head in response, he was aware that the brunette was a hard head, it wouldn't be easy at all to get her to talk about what was happening to her, so he decided that he would try another approach. He would give at Lexa her space and he would wait for whenever she would feel ready to talk.  
He knew Lexa for a couple of years by now, since the girl showed up at the library door looking for a job. He remembered that she had dark circles under her eyes, the coldness she used as a facade but which nevertheless couldn't hide the need in the tone of her voice. He understood that she had a bigger weight of her on her shoulders, so Gustus welcomed the brunette, without blinking and without regret it even once. He knew that Lexa was worth it, he knew that the girl deserved more than just a job at the library, but it was all he could give to her, over to a friend that would try to help her in any way he could.  
"Damn right if I am! I have a new truck, what did you expect girl? "Gustus joked, returning to the counter and leaving the brunette to the shelves. Lexa laughed, she was glad that the big man had let go the topic.  
She spent the last two hours of work to think about the last time she saw Clarke and at the words she had said to her. Lexa wondered if she really wanted to know her or if maybe it was just a passing thing, a pastime. She also wondered why she would put so many questions, rather than leave things to run their course without thinking too much.  
But what tormented her more than anything else was that she wanted to know all of the other girl, and she wanted to know all her secrets, her fears and what she loved the most. She wanted to know the stories that mattered to her, the ones that have left a mark, even the smallest things. She wanted to know what Clarke dreamed at night, the nightmares she would do and to be able to reassure her each time she would need. And she felt strange, because she had never felt such a necessity and yes, she felt it like a necessity that couldn't ignore.  
She realized that it was time to go home in a different reality than that the walls of the library gave to her, in a world in which she had to deal with too many problems for a seventeen year old.  
"Hey Gustus, my shift is over, see you tomorrow. Night! " Lexa yelled, noting that the other man was in the other room to do God knows what.  
She was almost out when she heard a muffled response that looked like a "See you tomorrow!" And she smiled, happy that two years ago had come here and met this giant with a big heart.  
It was later than she had realized, but she didn't care once she looked up at the sky and saw the stars above her.  
Lexa had always wanted to know more about the sky, the stars, the space, but she didn't want that once she learned all the knowledge about the space, she would have seen the sky like a map with lines and names, numbers and conquests.  
She felt a chill in the heart every time she witnessed at that landscape, so she decided to remain in her ignorance just to admire it every time with virgin eyes and full of wonder like the ones of the children.  
She had come home even earlier than she expected and she felt uncomfortable, more than she was willing to admit. Lexa had a feeling of fear, anguish and she didn't like it. So she took courage, saying that she was behaving like a child looking for a hiding place but the fact was that she had not done anything wrong, she couldn't understand from where it came. It was invading her.  
Lexa opened the door, searching for all the sounds coming from the other rooms, went to her room to put down the backpack and get something more comfortable.  
She was putting on the sweatpants when she heard the door open, didn't turn around already knowing who it was.  
"You're home." Lexa heard her mother's voice, cold and detached as she remembered it for years.  
"Yeah." Was the only thing she managed to say, she wasn't ready for a confrontation, wasn't ready to deal with Indra. She needed time, needed to remember what her mother had become and accept it for the umpteenth time.  
The brunette didn't see the woman for days, even weeks and she knew it was for the best. The memories she had of her were even before her father left, when everything was for the best, or at least, when everything seemed to be going well even though it was all a sham. She has never been able to adapt to the new version of Indra, she has never been able to let go of those memories and replace them with this new woman now facing her, because she needed time, because by the time she would seen the woman, Lexa would convinced herself that was still the woman of her memories.  
"Dinner's almost ready." Lexa heard Indra leave once she had nodded. She had not looked at the woman in the face, she would have to put on a mask that she still was not ready to wear.  
She sat on the bed and checked her phone that had forgotten all day. For Lexa the primary utility of the phone was the ability to isolate herself from the world around her through the music, but lately, she noticed that she had come to develop another reason.  
She has not seen or heard the blonde since the last time at the library. She wondered if perhaps Clarke had changed her mind about their relationship, she wondered if perhaps the other girl regretted what she had said. The brunette had much time to think about what the other girl had said, sleepless nights thinking about it, when all that surrounded her was only silence and darkness, insecurities and doubts were taking the upper hand, but the words of Clarke echoed in her head as if the sound was amplified and were trying to reassure her.  
Lexa opened the chat she had with Clarke and was decided to write something, but she had not the faintest idea of what. She was looking for an excuse, although she had no need, she didn't want to bother Clarke for no reason, even if the only thing she wanted was to hear her, despite the few days passed without any contact.  
She stopped herself to worry, though inside she felt a feeling of nausea.  
Lexa wrote offhand a message, without thinking too much. She knew that otherwise wouldn't do anything and she would postpone the message, just for doing nothing but only put herself in doubt.  
She received an immediate answer, not realizing that she had been watching the phone. "Sorry, what?" Lexa had realized that probably the blonde didn't know about what she was referring, perhaps thinking that Lexa had the wrong number or that she had lost some message before that, so Lexa explained about what she was referring.  
"You wanted to know my secrets, here's one." And she smiled to herself, forgetting her mother, who was downstairs, putting aside the insecurities she felt during those days and thinking that perhaps Clarke had not forgotten her, that maybe she was just giving at her some time to assimilate what she had said. Probably because Clarke had already figured out the type of girl she was and Lexa couldn't be happier. At least, she hoped so.

* * *

 

Clarke was in her room drawing, while her head did nothing but think about anything in particular working nonstop, not having distractions available.  
She couldn't control her thoughts, didn't pay particularly attention on what she was drawing. She was lost in the void, trying to make sense of the place where she was in the last period of her life.  
She was thinking about what she would do once she finished school, what path would undertake. Clarke knew what she wanted to do, but she also knew what her mother wanted. She was aware that the safest choice was medicine, follow the footsteps of her mother, do what was a certainty. _The certainties doesn't exist, they are just fantasies for cowards._ She repeated it several times to herself, trying to explain to herself that were just excuses. She knew she wanted to study art, she knew she wanted to make art.  
She wanted to show the world what tormented her, what made her happy, the wonderful things was put in front of her path. But she was scared, scared of disappointing her mother, to not be able. Scared of the future.  
She returned to reality by the ringing of her phone, noting the drawing she had done. They were a series of intertwined lines between them, without any defined path. They were simple lines, connected to each other, intrinsic and without a purpose.  
Clarke picked up the phone, noting two messages, happy to discover that one of them was by Lexa. She was afraid that she scared the other girl the last time they had seen, so she decided to leave at her some time to metabolize what she had said.  
She opened the message by Raven that was the message she had received a bit of time before. She knew that the brunette was able to bother people if she had to wait too long.  
"Griffin! We need to clear our plans for tomorrow." Clarke raised her eyebrow, curious as to why her friend was changing their plans at the last moment, it was something strange from Raven.  
"Why?" Is the only thing that the other girl wrote before sending the response and open the other message.  
The blonde had no clue on what was going on, but she felt confused. Before her friend sends a message that says that their plans are skipped and then Lexa sends a message that says "I like fries with caramel.".  
She didn't knew if the other girl had the wrong number or if it was just a joke, so she wrote a quick message trying to figure out what she was saying.  
She received an immediate reply by Lexa and she smiled, happy to have waited for the girl. The messages received by the brunette were the proof that she wanted Clarke to found out her secrets, although if small, and for Clarke was fine with it.  
She would grant the time necessary at Lexa, she knew she was worth it.  
"Oh well, I didn't expect a confession like that." Clarke replied, smiling at the other girl's intentions. She wondered if maybe the message sounded somewhat negative way, so she decided to quickly send another: "Not that I mind."  
She noticed the time, realizing that she should prepare something to eat, but Clarke had no desire to cook, didn't want to be alone and she knew she couldn't always call Raven and Octavia. So she decided to go out, buy some food and then go back at home, alone for the umpteenth night.  
She heard a buzzing in her hand and looked at another message from Lexa. She wondered if it was inappropriate to invite her but what she had to lose? In the worst scenario, she would excused at Lexa, but she decided that she would still tried.

* * *

 

Lexa smiled at the last text, at the thought that Clarke had thought enough about what she had written to send her another message to reassure her.  
She didn't want to go down and have dinner with her mother, she knew it would be a situation of distress, so she staied a little more in her room, knew she was acting as a child, a coward, but she had no duty.  
"Good, because in many don't know it." Lexa replied at the blonde, smiling at the thought of her.  
She had no time to put down the phone, that received immediately a message from the other girl: "Can I buy you a bit of chips with some caramel? I'm going out and would be nice have some company. "  
Lexa felt a hole in the stomach, the only thought that crossed her mind was that it was impossible to eat anything with that feeling. But it wasn't a bad idea, she could have avoided her mother for the evening and could spend some quality time with the other girl.  
_At Indra doesn't care after all._ Lexa thought, remembering how the woman had recently behaved with her and Anya, like as if not wanting the two of them around. So she sent a quick "Sure" at Clarke and checked herself at the mirror. She realized she was wearing the tight sweatpants and the batman t-shirt, but she was presentable. _The leather jacket makes everything better anyway._ Lexa thought, but shook her head to clear any thought, because she thought that she shouldn't worry about how she was dressed, she was seeing only with Clarke and it wasn't a big deal. Left her room, she decided to talk to her mother before going out. She received a message from the blonde who said that she would gone to pick her at her house. Lexa smiled and prepared herself to face her mother. She found Indra in the kitchen. She took a deep breath, as if the air could give her the necessary courage to face the person in front of her.She was afraid of what she might try to talk to her. Lexa had spent the last years of her life to shut out all her feelings, thinking of her father, her brother, to what had happened and she couldn't tell if perhaps it was simply the course of things or if it was due to decisions that were taken over time. Really a single decision could so drastically ruin people's lives?  
"Alexandra." She looked up and met the eyes of the woman. She was afraid, but she didn't let her see it, she was stronger than that and couldn't afford to be vulnerable in front of her.  
"I came to tell you that I'm going out, see you later." She said without any emotion, wearing a mask with no expression.  
She nodded to her mother and turned to leave, deciding that she would wait outside for Clarke. She didn't expect an answer, she didn't expect anything, but she couldn't deny the sense of disappointment that she tried once crossed the threshold of the house.  
Lexa sat on the steps of the house, looking at the sky, noting how the stars were burning.  
She was lost in thought, dissociating herself from the world, from the cold, from the noise that tried to invade her mind. She was too busy to observe the sky and thinking to be able to see whatever was going on around her, as if in a trance.  
"That's Pegasus." She jumped to a voice close to her. She looked at the girl with the head turned towards the sky to observe the stars, followed the finger that was pointing a group of stars, trying to exploit her imagination to create some images.  
"Pegasus was the winged horse of Perseus, a hero of ancient Greece. The gods had entrusted to him the mission to track down and kill Medusa." Clarke explained, looking once again the brunette, who had fascinated her for the last five minutes.  
She had found the girl sitting on the stairs at observe the sky. Lexa had transmitted at Clarke a feeling of loneliness, pain, exhaustion, that she had never noticed in any other. She took a picture, wanting to capture such a moment of tranquility and sadness, relief and pain, peace and chaos. She checked three times for the flash, didn't want the girl to come out from her state of rest and internal chaos with a stupid flash.  
"A little nerd you too, I see." Lexa smiled, trying to hide the surprise that she had for listening at the other girl talking about constellations and Greek mythology, she found herself increasingly fascinated by Clarke.  
"My dad and I used to go out in the middle of the night for look at the stars. He taught me all I know." Clarke replied, with a melancholy smile on her face.  
Lexa knew it was a subject for another time, she didn't want to spoil the mood of the girl, so she nodded in response and smiled, standing up and holding out her hand to the blonde to help her up.  
Once Clarke grabbed the hand of the brunette, she felt pulled with a force she didn't expect at all by the other girl. She was unprepared and surprised.  
"God, you could be more gentle." The blonde grumbled, silently thanking the brunette for having grasped her in time.  
"How I would have fun with you otherwise?" She heard the whisper of the brunette at her ear. She turned quickly to send her a menacing look, but she didn't expect to be so close to the other girl and the only thing she could do was a look of shock. Lexa shook her head and released the other girl with a smile.  
She waited for Clarke to say something, but when she didn't receive anything, she decided to take matters in hand.  
"Shall we go?" She asked, making a ridicule gesture with her hand and a bow like a knight, with a smile on her face.  
Clarke rolled her eyes in response and hit the other girl on the arm, noting that she was really a complete dorky. Totally adorable.  
Once in the car, Lexa realized that she didn't asked at the girl how long she had been sitting there with her.  
"How long were you there looking at me like a creepy?" She asked raising an eyebrow and turning totally to her on the seat.  
"I'm not a creepy and I was not looking at you, you dork." Smiled Clarke, directed to the nearest fast food.  
"I'm not dork." Grumbled Lexa, unable to believe what the other girl was saying at her. Lexa wasn't a dork. Or at least is what she believed.  
"Yes, you totally are! And you are adorable too with that pout! " The blonde laughed, happy to have asked at the brunette to join her.  
"I'm not pouting and certainly I am not adorable. I mean, look at me! I am a real badass." She defended herself, starting to blush once Clarke stopped at the traffic lights and began to look down the length of her body.  
The blonde isn't sorry at all to look at her. "Yeah, totally badass. The Batman logo frightens people." She said, holding back a smile, trying to keep a serious expression.  
"Exactly." Lexa said, ignoring the sarcasm by the blonde.  
Both girls found themselves with a smile on their faces, both forgetting their bad mood. Not realizing this, they felt that was a normal thing.  
After a bit of comfortable silence, Clarke asked: "So, do you have any place in mind?"  
Lexa shook her head, she was comfortable, didn't want to move or talk or whatever. She just wanted to be sitting comfortably in her seat listening to the blonde humming something.  
Clarke noticed the other girl asleep, smiled thinking how different was her expression in comparison to the one she had seen earlier as she watched the sky.  
She could not believe how many facets to the girl she had seen so far and how much she still had to see.  
She arrived at her destination and decided to let Lexa sleep for the moment, they would go to her house to eat.  
She got out of the car quickly, wanting to do as quickly as possible, she didn't want to let the other girl alone in the car, especially sleeping. She returned ten minutes later, happy to notice any change.  
Clarke found herself lost in a thousand thoughts on the return at her home, realizing that Raven had not responded yet. She wondered what her friend was doing and why she had changed their plans. She made a mental note to call her the next day.  
Once they arrived, Clarke didn't want to wake Lexa. She could see the calm in her expression, without any thought hunting her. But she thought she had to eat, she would sleep later. Clarke took another picture of the girl, to tease her, she told at herself.  
"Hey Lexa." The blonde shook the brunette's arm gently not wanting to scare her off. She wasn't in a familiar place, Clarke didn't want her to feel disoriented. "Come on, wake up, we arrived."  
The brunette opened her eyes, muttering: "God, these are damn comfortable seats."  
Clarke laughed in response and got out, ran to open the door for Lexa, not wanting the other girl to fall asleep again.  
"Let's go sleeping beauty." She said, smiling, holding the door for her. Lexa got out and stretched, happy to stretch all her muscles, feeling the pleasant burning.  
Clarke looked at the figure of Lexa, making another mental note to ask the girl if he were some sport.  
Once Clarke closed the car door, she walked to the front door and ushered the brunette in the house, making the same gesture that previously she did to her.  
"I'm sorry for falling asleep, it was a rough day and the seats of your car are damn comfortable." Lexa said, following Clarke wherever she was going.  
"It's okay. To be honest I didn't knew if I should have bring you back at your place, but I thought you had to eat and I promised you some fries with caramel, so I decided that at least we could eat together since we had decided it already." Clarke replied with a smile, starting to remove the containers from the paper bag, taking the chips and handing it at the brunette with a smile and a wink.  
"That is so thoughtful!" Lexa smiled with a sarcastic tone and a mock expression of surprise.

* * *

 

They began to eat in silence, both happy with each other's company and the junk food they were eating.  
"So, how come you are alone?" The brunette asked, checking the other girl for any signs of distress or any other form of bad signal, didn't want to spoil the mood or push on some sensitive subject.  
But she saw that the smile never left the face of Clarke, although swayed for a half second. "My mother works always until late, she is a neurosurgeon at the Ark Hospital." She answered without blinking an eye, as if it were all that was needed to say, that was the phrase to explain the whole situation. Lexa nodded in response, thinking that perhaps they had more in common than she had imagined.  
"Oh, how's Anya?"  
Lexa frowned, wondering why Clarke was asking about her sister. Only after a while she remembered that actually they knew each other long before she started a friendship with the blonde. "She is fine, earlier she has sent me a message saying that tomorrow we couldn't do what we had planned because something came up. I have no idea on what's more important than a marathon of The Matrix." She grumbled the last sentence, still angry with her sister. She would make her pay.  
"It's the same thing happened to me! Raven had never done this before, I'll have to check she's okay. She didn't even answer me. However, I volunteer myself for the Matrix marathon! Every time I finished to watching them, I get some deep existential crisis.”  
"Do you know Matrix?" It was the only thing that Lexa could make at the time, she was engaged to stop herself from screaming "You're just a dream." at the girl.  
"Who doesn't?" Clarke asked skeptically, not understanding the surprise by the brunette.  
"You'd be surprised." She grumbled in response, back to the fries that were left.  
"Mh, maybe because it's an old movie."  
Lexa was shocked by the words of the blonde, she couldn't believe that the "old" definition was associated with a film like Matrix. She was aware of what she was referring to, but it was still a blow. It was a classic, not something "old".  
"If you continue to say things like that, you don't will watch anything with me." Lexa said, looking Clarke directly in the eye with an expression of total seriousness.  
"Fine, fine! Geez, I didn't say that it's bad." The other girl said, feeling for the first time intimidated by the brunette, that the look made her felt a shiver down her spine.  
They continued to talk for the rest of the dinner, telling of their days, not paying the slightest attention to the fact that they had finished eating for a while by now or that it was getting really late.  
"Damn, it's late." Lexa said, starting to get up and to collect the cards that they left.  
"Come on, I'll take you home." The blonde said, taking the arm of the other girl.  
Lexa took the hand of Clarke from her arm and turned her around so that they found themselves face to face. "First I want to clean up here, it's the least." She said, looking directly into the crystal blue eyes. She had no idea how to look away, she wondered if something was wrong with her or simply those eyes were like those of Medusa, that petrified her for the beauty hidden inside them.  
Clarke smiled and began to help Lexa, feeling happiness burst inside her for a small gesture like that. She didn't know why, but she felt like there was more behind the words of the brunette, but she didn't want to delude herself because she had analyzed too deeply something that really didn't matter, so soothed her brain and went to help the other girl.  
"Okay, now we can go. I'll not keep you up until late when I know that you're actually dying to go to sleep." Clarke took the other girl's arm, dragging her behind her.  
"You made me too much awake even for think to go to sleep, to tell the truth." Lexa smiled, sitting comfortably on the seat and not paying attention to the blonde.  
"Glad to help." She replied with a smile, beginning to set in motion the machine and starting to blush for the words of the brunette. She knew that Lexa had meaning nothing with that words, but she couldn't stop the emotions inside her.  
"Well you or the food, I'm not sure." The brunette added, smiling at the expression of Clarke.  
"I helped in both cases, then you're still welcome." The blonde said, sending a wink to Lexa.  
The other girl got up only the eyes in response, focused to look out the window. She was paying attention to the lights, the stars, at the dark, at the world.  
"Do you ever wonder if there really someone out there for all of us?" She asked distractedly, still looking out the window.  
Clarke didn't expect such a question by Lexa, she didn't seem the type.  
_I suppose that she surprised me for the umpteenth time_. She said to herself, unable to stop thinking about how Lexa could be surprising.  
"Several times, but I never got a concrete answer. You? "She was curious to know on what was thinking the other girl, curious to know what was going through her mind and why a question like that would had to go through her head. It was because she hoped in soulmate or because she was afraid that she would be left alone if they there were not?  
"All the time. I wonder if there really is what we see on television or read about in books. I mean, if they talk about it, if they describe it so well, it has to exist, right? As they might invent out of nothing something so passionate and powerful like what they describe? I would like to dedicate at someone a romantic song when I heard one, I would like to be able to look that person straight in the eyes and list at them all the defects that they posses and tell at that person how much I love every single of them. I would simply hold that person tight in my arms and tell her that finally that absence I always felt inside of me, that inexplicable emptiness that was inside my chest, now would be gone." Lexa said, still looking out the window, not having the courage to look the other girl. She didn't know why she was saying all this to her, the only thing that she knew was she needed to talk to someone and Clarke was there, willing to listen at her and Lexa couldn't help but let go herself to all that the other girl was willing to think.  
It would be an understatement to say that Clarke was surprised with the response from Lexa, she was expected an answer in monosyllabic like "yes" or "no", but she didn't expect a concrete answer from the brunette simply because she didn't granted it until now.  
"I think that's what people want the most, this is what drives people to look for someone without interruption, despite sometimes they deny it. Loneliness is a powerful enemy. I can not tell if there really is someone for everyone out there, but I do know that there is someone for you." Clarke replied, still looking at the road. She knew it was a sensitive time for Lexa, she knew it was a great effort by the other girl open up in this way. They didn't knew each other much and Clarke didn't want to make her uncomfortable, but knowing that Lexa was trusted enough to confide such thought to her, has improved by far the Clarke evening.  
"How do you know for sure?" Lexa asked, turning to look for the first time at Clarke, tilting her head to the side.  
"Because what I could tell from the time I spent with you, is that you're a strong girl Lexa and if there is someone who will raise your interest, I am damn sure that you will not have to do much to conquer it." Clarke explained, looking directly into the eyes of the brunette a time that had stopped in front of the other girl's house.  
"Then Clarke, both have someone waiting for us out there." Lexa answered, still looking at the beautiful blue eyes.  
Neither of them thought that maybe, one was the completion of the other.  
"Thank you for tonight." The brunette began, not wanting to really let the other girl, felt the need to say something, but didn't know what.  
"Thanks to you, if it wasn't for you I would be alone at home. I suppose I'll see you tomorrow for the marathon?" Clarke asked, smiling at the prospect of a some time in the company of this adorable dorky.  
"Yep, see you tomorrow then, again thanks, good night." She motioned with her head and started to open the car door when she heard a "wait" and a hand on her left arm that pulled her back. Before she had time to ask what, she found herself caught between the arms of the blonde and she felt so good.  
"I know it's not the same as embracing that person in your arms, I know that doesn't fill the emptiness you feel inside but you have to know that if you need someone to let you know that you are not alone, I'll always be here." She heard Clarke whispered at her ear and she couln't help but hold tight the other girl, not wanting to let her go.  
After an indefinite period of time, Lexa whispered softly a "Thank you, Clarke." on the other girl's cheek before leaving a little kiss on that particular point.  
She leaned her forehead against the blonde and opened her eyes, meeting those crystalline blue. She had no logical thought, was too fascinated by the sight that she found herself a few centimeters from her face. "When I look into your eyes, I really tend to lose my rational thoughts." Lexa said, shaking her head to try to regain control of herself. "Good night Clarke." She added after a moment, stroking the nose of the blonde with her own.

* * *

 

Clarke stood in the same place where the other girl had left her, she couldn't focus on anything, she couldn't understand what had just happened.  
Lexa's words kept playing in her head, couldn't figure out how to interpret them. She cursed herself for analyzing every little sentence, but she couldn't help it, the entire situation was just surreal.  
But she was still happy, pretty darn happy despite the inexplicable feeling of a strange hole in the stomach.  
She returned at home without the smile left her face, if someone saw her would have thought she was under some influence of drugs.  
Before she could get off the car heard the phone ringing, answered without looking at the caller, she was too much concentrate to think about the other girl, she wasn't paying attention to what she was doing.  
"Hello?" She answered, getting out of the car, heading for home.  
"Griffin! Where are you?" She felt the Raven's voice shouting on the other side. She felt the other girl too excited for that hour. "I'm coming home, why?"  
"I passed by your house before and the lights were out and I didn't see the car. However, where have you been?" Clarke felt herself under interrogation with the incessant questions from the brunette, but she knew her for years, she knew that there was certainly a reason for all the questions by her best friend, but she knew it was useless to ask, she would just have to wait.  
"I was out with Lexa." Clarke replied, throwing herself on her bed and covered her eyes with her arm.  
She heard a strange buzzing by Raven, but she didn't give it too much weight.  
Shortly after Clarke added: "That strange bond that I felt from the beginning, is developing more and more. I feel that Lexa and I will be great friends."  
"Yeah, friends." She heard Raven grumbling, ignoring the sarcasm in her voice. She was not paying attention, she couldn't see her friend rolling her eyes and she not listening to the sarcasm in her words.  
"What have you done?" The brunette asked, wanting to know the details. Clarke began to tell.  
She began when she saw Lexa sitting on the porch of her house watching the sky, totally estranged from the world. She described everything in detail, reliving those moments and realized that perhaps she was too focused to observe the other girl. Maybe after all she was creepy, but it was not her fault. She was an artist, she said to herself, admire the art was what she loved most. She thought at the kiss she'd left on her cheek, realizing only now the sweet and intimate gesture. She blushed at the thought.  
They talked for a while, until Raven felt only a slight snoring by her friend. She shook her head with a smile and closed the call, reflecting on what Clarke had told to her, on how she seemed happy about her new friendship with Lexa.  
She has always seen Clarke happy in spite of her internal wars. She knew that her friend was hiding all her real emotions because she thought she needed to be stronger for the others, because she felt the need to be the cornerstone to support all the people she had care about.  
She had noticed this change after the death of her father, she had noticed how she seemed more detached from the reality. She had also noticed that she tried with her whole being to hide her true emotions and now, she could see the old Clarke, the one truly happy, lover of art and life.  
That one with the desire to experience new emotions, with the desire to love and draw, with the desire to learn and discover, in particular a brunette.  
_Friends my ass._ Raven thought, while she put herself in bed with a smile.


End file.
